my_personal_reflection_place

Sudden Sadness

2010-04-03T00:59:00.002+08:00

Today is a bright and sunny day... but I'm not...

Mum leaving Singapore to China for 6 days...

Was still alright when I sent her to the airport but...

When I reached home, I started to feel sad...

I miss you, mother... I miss you...

It's always you that hurts me the most, love me the most and care for me the most!

I really miss you much! It's just another 5 more unbearable days before you are back...

Could the time past faster? I couldn't bare it anymore!

Mother i love you so dearly... Please be home safe and sound...

May your flight be smooth...

May your trip be enjoyable...

May you meet up with uncle and aunties be merry...

May you be home safe and sound...

I miss you, mother... I miss you....

Percy Jackson...

2010-03-02T23:16:00.002+08:00

Well, somehow I manage to find a workable link like online to stream this Percy Jackson and the Olympian - The lightning Thief. And the movie caught my interest in reading my the books. They happen to turn out a wonderful books.

Well, and do manage to hold of the ebook... Yeah, there are total 5 books and i manage to finish them (esp the first book) within well 3 or 4 days... The books is not as thick as harry potter though but believe me it is interesting... If you like the first movie, you should try out the books (well, that's apply to: if you like reading too)...

Yeah, I should say it is better than twilight. To me both harry potter and Percy Jackson is equal but if I were to choose, I would prefer Percy Jackson over Harry Potter. The reason being: I like the author's writing style... always keep it's reader in suspend and he did a very good twisting at the end... It will make you look forward to the next book...

Yeah, I think I shall stop here... Night everyone...

Just some complaining...

2010-02-24T21:46:00.002+08:00

Dear friends, please don't put this entry to heart if it hurts you... It's just something I need to say out before i break down...

Friends who met me earlier, will know, I'm current working on 2 assignment that is to due on this coming Friday and Sunday. The one that is to hand in by Friday is a new assignment I just got it on Monday and the Sunday one is a coding/ programming assignment... well... I have yet to get starting on both of them... Partly was due to the on going Chinese new year and the assignment was due on Monday (this week Monday).

So, I suppose to have 3-4days to finish up my Friday-due assignment and if possible finish it in a even shorter time. Now it's not going to be that way... I'm pack with activity since yesterday... And suddenly, I felt all the celebration is a waste of time... AND WASTE OF MONEY!

I'm broke. Very broke... Not that I don't have money in bank but it's like the money in the bank is not usable... Well not ready to share why it's not usable...

I'm spending near 120 buck and around 3 days for a friend birthday... I'm super not happy about it but what to do? Since I've made my promise, I shall try my best to make it true... And frankly speaking, I've regretted... Not the present, food and movie part... It's the travelling and time costing part...

Sorry my friends, I'm seriously not in the mood of spending the time to accompany you all... I've something (which feel is) more important to do... But what is done is done... I can't make the time goes back... I do enjoy the things we did together but at this point of time and especially at this corner of time...

I'm out of jobs, not that there's not job for me. It's just that I don't have the time for it... My module is getting tougher and I'm not copping well... Next time I won't be the kind that will goes along with people if I really can't afford to... Yeah...

Well, I do fell better... Thanks for the time reading my complaints...

Hair Cut...

2009-12-29T11:17:00.002+08:00

I can't really remember when is my last hair cut... Is it 4 or 5 months ago? I really can't remember...

Anyway, when to a salon this morning for a hair cut and as you know school is starting soon... Next Monday and I saw quite a few salon was packed with primary school student with their parent(s).

When I enter this salon, there was this lady serving this little boy... He was cute when the lady is "cutting" his hair... She was using an electric shaver when I'm waiting for staff to guide me... That's little boy's expression, when hearing the electric shaver's sound, makes me recall my hair cut incident when I'm in primary school...

Before I'm in primary 4, I wasn't allowed to keep my hair long... I was being brought to hair stylist to have my hair cut when it was slightly longer than my ear lobe... Then the hair stylist always like to us electric shaver to "shave" my neck line hair...

Till now, I can remember how scary the sound of the electric shaver can be... Every time I heard it, I shiver, I freeze my body, I close my eyes and pray it ends fast but I dare not cry and also I find it no point to cry...

Seeing that little boy's action and expression, I wonder were my expression and action be like him then... I can't recall the me in the mirror during that period as I didn't even look into the mirror! My eyes were closed!!!

Well, it's all the past and it's my experience for hair cutting... Today's session was so interesting...

Miss My Cousin

2009-10-21T12:56:00.003+08:00

It's already 2 weeks since my cousin left Singapore for London... Hope that her stay there would be as interesting as the photo she took there... Anyway she's there for a internship for a year long... Planing to visit her when she's due and come back home together...

I hope by then I'm able to graduate... If not the visit will not be able to happen...

Now am working on a scarf for my cousin... Finally got a chance to show my skill on crochet... Actually I do also want to master my skill on knitting but the problem is that I don't have knitting needle... So... Still need to wait for chance and time to learn it...

Currently, I'm half way crocheting the scarf expect to finish it before this month end...

Anyway, I'll be super busy working this few months and I'm saving my travelling fees... And assignment is coming out so now is the time to "work" hard and then study hard... And one year later it should be play hard... hehe...

I had enough!!!

2009-10-08T15:29:00.002+08:00

Seriously I had enough! Why some people just cannot understand what is the other party priority? Money is not my priority okay? Though I always keep complaining that I'm broke, I need to save so on so forth, My priority is F~A~M~I~L~Y! Family! People who knows me well will understand...

I love my family and I'll always love.

Also I don't know why, people like to physio me on stuff that I've decided... When I want to, not want to or need to think before I act, I'll act accordingly... Push Selling most of the time do not work for me... I want means I wants. I don't wants means no... I'll reject you in a very polite way but never push me over the line when I say no!

I don't like to be nasty to people but when I'm being force to do some things please don't expect me to be a nice person anymore... My temper is not for you to try out if you still treat me as friends...

This post is for some body...

Have Great Dinner... It's so... Till we...

2009-09-30T23:32:00.003+08:00

Yeah... Went for Ramen dinner near Clack Quay... Is not what I've been expecting but it's quite nice to eat... Though we had made a wrong decision - to have extra noddle...

In the end we were all bloated... haha... Shall up load the photos later... By the way, I'll be uploading all the photo I have for the past few months...

Please look out for it... will try to arrange in it date order...

Pictures and pictures and pictures!!!

2009-09-30T23:31:00.000+08:00

Isn't it like a mountain?

That's the end product of our decision...

The top view doesn't look huge...
But not the side views...

This is what I've ordered for myself...
Miso Pork Bone Ramen...
I couldn't really taste the miso...

This is my other cousin's order...

Spicy Pork Bone Ramen...

Overall... The food and soup base is solid...

Noddle is good for the pricing...

GreenRidge ever first Homecoming Dinner tour...

It's the roof top of the newly build block...

That's the detention room...

The hall viewing from the detention room...

This detention room used to be our hall stage...

Hey! What are you trying to do?

The red bridge is gone...

But the tiles is still there...

Precious tots...

Aren't they beautiful?

They are so cute!

Wonder how warm is it under this costume...

They are doing well...

Great work guys...

I believe they are not girls under these heavy costume...

Beautiful clouds...

Ops! Sorry in the wrong direction...

Please turn your head to enjoy the picture!

Hey! Ivy! What Are You Doing to her?

That isn't nice!

Aren't the cloud and sun beautiful?

The Sun is Setting...

My ever first sweet and sour pork...

Tasted and smell nice...
It's a success...

Time passes...

2009-09-29T00:09:00.002+08:00

It's been a year since I join SIM Global Education - UOW... In this one year, I've met lots of people but there are only a few I can remember... Sorry Friends...

I recall once I was ask why I choose UOW courses and my reply will always be the same... At my time of enrollment, there is only UOW that offers a full-time and more specialize course... That's why I'm here... My dream University is Mornash University and I know I won't be able to join them...

After joining SIM - UOW, I also sign up for the student council and therefore taking part in the orientation since then. The very first reason I sign up for the SC is because I wish I'm able to plan a better orientation for my Junior but it's already a year and I've done nothing that helps... I'm such a waste... Still I enjoy the activity in every orientation though I grumble a lots...

Now in year 3, I can feel the stress in my first day of class... I understand nothing today... Not even after I've read the slides... It's was all going wrong course... How am I going to bring it back?

I'll try my best and study hard and also work hard to visit my cousin in a years time.

P.S. My cousin is going overseas (London) for internship... I'll miss her a lot man...

Feel like something is wrong...

2009-09-05T00:50:00.002+08:00

It's been days that I felt something bad is going to happen... And today indeed there's a bad news... Not for me, but it's for my mum...

Mum is going to lose her job in months time... But it hadn't confirmed yet... The factory she's work at is going to close down part of Singapore site... And so "lucky", it affected mum... And there goes my plan...

I was thinking of stopping working part time starting from next month... Now if mum is going to lose her job, I think it is wise to quit my job now... At least I'll need to continue to work till I'm not able to take it...

Just hope that good news will come soon and my plan can be executed...

Cough...

2009-08-31T13:31:00.002+08:00

Have been coughing since 2 weeks ago... Been consulting Chinese Phys too... Still coughing not recovering but too not going bad...

Then Mum decided to ask me to consult Doctor (western) and there goes her 61 bucks... Got myself a 7days anti-body which each pill cost one dollar... Twice a day, each time 2 pill.... So that's make up to be 28 bucks for only the anti-body... As for consultation fees, I'm not too sure how much is it... And the rest of the medicine too... In total, I had 6 pack of pills and tablets to finish...

It's one of the most expensive consultation I've made in my life time... Just hope my cough will get cured with the spending of $61...

Something going wrong for this semester...

2009-08-25T12:44:00.005+08:00

I'm lossing my interest in studying... Seriously, I find that my interest for IT is getting lesser and lesser... I'm hanging on but am not sure how long more I can hold on...

I think I'm a loner too... As When I'm starting my second semester in SIM, I kept thinking to have individual project. But when that happends, I felt like crying as there are no one I can approch to for help... Though working in groups or team make no differences but at least there are some one to discuss my problem with...

I find it a nusiunce when I starting to have friends in class... The reason being is that my groups of friends keep asking me for answer or my programming assignment code... I really hate that... I hate to copy and I know it is hard to resist it...

Thinking back, I'm wondering is the choice of entering IT line a wrong one, do I regreated it? Frankly speaking, I don't regrate but it's more like I'm tired of the things around me... I'm a woman, and I'm a very very normal woman... How I wish to get married and have a family... How I wish I don't have to work... How I wish I'm able to do the things I like or am interested... But it's all wish... Or I should say it's more like dreams...

I'm still living in reality... I need workhard to earn my living, to support my parents and most importantly is not to worry my parents... I will hang on to get graduated and get a decent job...

BAD NEWs!!!

2009-07-26T00:34:00.002+08:00

Indeed to me it's a bad news... My bag had been stolen! And worst come to worst I don't even know what is the actual time it's being stolen... All I know is in between 9.30 and 10pm...

Frankly speaking, I have no idea why that person steal my bag. It's a brand less, worthless bag. In the bag, the stuff are all in expensive... 2 empty Tupperware container, a newly brought belt, my coin and key pouch, my laptop bag, a few packet of tissue, a hand phone ear piece, a comb, and my wallet. I think my wallet is the most valuable among the item I have listed...

Anyway, inside contain mostly of my cards and a $2 note... The cards are: NRIC, Driving License, POSB ATM card (Account current having no cash), Library Card, SIM student card, Union card (my mum one), privilege cards such as john little member card, TCC member card, Amway ADA card, Republic club card, Passion card, Student ez-link card, and so on so for... besides all the above I've mention, in the wallet it also have a photo of mine, and my class schedule for this semester...

I think other then that for now I can't remember what is in it... The reason being is that those are what I seldom and recently didn't use...

Just hope that there are kind hearted people around would return me my belonging...

Dear Buddha and God,

I've learn my lesson... Please help me find back my belonging... Please!

Working on Every Saturday and Thursday...

2009-07-25T15:12:00.002+08:00

Like the title, I'm working. Even now... But that's what I've ask for... Who ask me to be so broke after joining Amway... Not that I'm really broke it's just that I've touch the cash that I'm not suppose to spent... So now I end up working to fill up the money...

Sounds increadible right? In this centerary there's still people like me --> have money but cannot spent...

Anyway, I'm working at a push cart located at Raffles City level 3, just outside Capitol Optical... This cart is selling children clothing, mostly for baby and children below 2 years... If you are getting for boys, there will be limited choices to choose from... Whereas for girls, it is much much more when compared...

Don't ask me why, cause I myself is not sure... But I always told the customer, "because girls are easier to dress than boys, and girls designs are not as boring as boys"... It's true... Take us adult for example, won't you say that women clothing are nicer than men and there are also more choice for women than men in term of design?

Okay... By the way, today's sales is so bad that I'm wondering my boss would not be able to make any profit.... What to do? Today's customer very wired... Stop by and ask for stuff that we didn't sell... Some even worst, they ask me on the clothing that they can get as a gift and I tried to recommend them. And in the end they ask," Hmm, do you have this... this... that... that... kind of design?" The design they requested is what this cart don't have... What the hell!

Never mind... I won't get angry with that kind of customer... Just hope that at a later time the sales will be better...

Okay, I'm done complaining... Shall look up for more when I knock off... See you Later...

Good Day! Everyone!

2009-07-23T10:11:00.005+08:00

Hi, Everyone!

I know, I know... Sorry for the long break... I'm back now... Yeah...

Wondering what I'm doing? I'll be updating it shortly... But before I do, Please let my update about my family...

Okay!

Brother is back form Beijing!!! Hoo Ray!!! Though he didn't really buy me stuff but at least he brought what I've asked for and a pendent for me... And what I've ask him to get? Yup it's tea leaves... Dried one of course... he he... By the way he also brought a another pendent simliar to mine for my mum too... For dad, he got him a paint? Haha... I don't really know is that called... Anyway it is like a paint with wording of 福...

Thanks Brother!!! Love your items... The tea is nice ^_^...

Yeah... Done updating about my family... Now it's me...

Hmm... This few weeks I've been busy with work, assignments, school and reading chinese novels... ha ha...

if I were to arrange them in order on which item I'm spending the most time with, the order will be:

1) reading chinese novels
2) school
3) work
4) assignment

Yup, I know I should get some scholding... In the middle of a semester, I'm actually spending more time on chinese novels!!! Haha... I know I wrong but I can't help... I'm trying to control myself... Trying to focus more my school and not work...

Anyway, that's what I've been up to for the past few weeks... Isn't it boring? I think it is... But somehow I like staying that way... Ha ha...

Okay, I shall be going... Falling sick again... Time for me to consult doctor... Later still need to go for work.... Better not to get sick at this point of time... :)

See you, Guys!!!

--10:11 AM

Irritated...

Somehow, I'm getting irritated easier and easier by one of my friend... Though it's my wrong to join them if I don't have the commitment in the first palce... I don't deny that I'm trying every possible way to avoid them, their gathering and so...

I don't wish to be enemy with them and that's the reason that I'm looking and trying every possible route to avoid... At the end of the day, all I wanted to free will... I don't like to be out on the streets, shopping mall the whole day... My favorite hang out place is my room; in front of my laptop or on my bed (sleeping or reading).

--11:49 AM

Working...

2009-07-04T11:39:00.002+08:00

I'm back working on weekend... Currently I'm working... Since I've open the store, there's no customer yet... People who stops by seem to be doing window shopping... And I seriously feel that today's sale will not be a beautiful one... Just hope that it will be more than two hundred bucks...

By the way, school had started for 3 day... And on the third day, I had stomach flu and so I missed my first lesson on IACT 202... What a waste... Had a feeling that I've miss a lot of information... What to do? Who ask me to get sick at that point of time?

Anyway, I also just receive the result for the previous semester... Wasn't that bad after all... At least I've passed all the module I've took... Just hope that this result will reflect in this semester too...

Back!~ Active! Again~

2009-06-09T23:49:00.002+08:00

Yeah... I'm back from hibernation... It's all bullshit okay?

I'm busy for the past 2 and half months... Busy with my School work in general...

By the way, I'm now having my exam break, and that's the reason I have time blogging here...

There's lots of things I wanted to update but I don't know where to start from...

Okay shall start with my brother...

He's currently not in Singapore. He had went to China-Beijing yesterday... It's only a day and I'm missing him so much... Just chatted with him through MSN and it feel so different and strange... It's like I'm chatting with a machine not my brother... I missed his voice; the way he tease me, and so on...

He when there for his final year project and will be there for 1 whole month... He'll be back on 10 July 2009... Hope that day come soon...

Follow on, I'll touch on Amway stuff...

I kind of tired of the meeting I've been attending due to the stress of my assignments... Though now all my assignment have submitted but during that period it showed me a very clear picture of the group... Seriously I'm super tired and stressed about the assignment at that time. And I do really want to skip the lesson but I don't really have my stand till I fell sick on the 2nd week of May. I then really hold my stand and not going...

Actually before I really fall sick, something happened... And I wasn't really happy about something after I attend the lesson on the week before I fall sick. Therefore I'm not really happy going for the group lesson/discussion since then...

And so, I've also show very clearly that when I'm still schooling, school will be my first priority when it comes to Amway stuff... And my up line accept it... Now I'll be on and off active member till I graduated...

Working as Part time...

Since March till May, I've not being working and I'm seriously in need of cash... During that period I suddenly feel so broke and helpless... This is all thanks to Amway's product... They are so attractive and I just can't help myself... By the way, for now, I'm back working at least once a week for 60 bucks. This do help, especially when I've learn to control my buy spree...

So currently, I'm working every Saturday... Please do not come find me unless you wish to buy something or find me for a small chat... And not asking me about school work... I will not entertain that (asking school work or assignment).

Okay, I think today I'm only able to share till here... It's late... Should be turning in... Night everyone...

Stressed, Busy and Stress

2009-05-23T17:24:00.002+08:00

Like the title... this semester I'm so stress and busy... Assignment after assignment, outing, lesson, class and many many more....

It's better not to ask me how am I doing...

I'm not in the mood to chat... I'll chat with you as and when I feel like it... I'm sorry to my friends... When I'm stress over something, I"ll tend to be that way... Just bare it with me for the time being ba... If so happen happen that I MIA on the day we are suppose to meet please forgive me too...

School working is getting more and more difficult... So does the stress level... Monday is my assignment due date... And it is not even half done... JAVA coding is really killing me...

Hope I'm able to finish it by Monday...

冷战结束。。。

2009-05-08T09:51:00.002+08:00

从昨天起，我与妈的冷战到一段落。可是以往的感情已不可能恢复了。

I think it will be fine for me for the time being... But some how the sadness is there and I'm not good in expressing it...

Anyway it's finally over... It's better not to think to much...

Cold War! 冷战！

2009-05-05T09:17:00.002+08:00

It's so cold... But it's fine...

Once again there is a cold war between mum and me... Since yesterday she said something that I don't like to hear and there goes our relationship... I tried to talk to her but she just won't bother... Either she just reply with one or two words or she don't even speak... This just hurt me so much... Feel like crying but no tears is coming out... I think I'm immune to it...

Since she doesn't wants to talk to me den that's fine... I'll lock myself in my room when there is only her and me at home... I won't ask or talk to her till she started it... She wants to be cold I'll be colder then... But I wonder am I able to do so?

Everything seem so out of control... My life, My emotion, My temper, My family and many many more...

There's so many things piling up; so many problems for me to face... What I shall do? I don't want to hurt anybody but if i don't hurt them I'll be the one getting hurt... I want my freedom but I already had my freedom... Still I'm not happy yet... There's something lacking... And I don't know what it is...

Friends, Money, Families, Freedom, School, Work, Health...

Which is most important to me? I know the answer but it seem to be all linked...

Family is the priority to me... Somehow, it is linked up with money, school and health... And those are the factors that cause what happen between mum and me... What I shall do?

Written: A loner where nobody notice...

I'm Very Busy Nowadays!!!

2009-05-04T12:49:00.002+08:00

Like this post title, I'm very busy nowadays... Really busy... But still I'm able to manage...

Assignment dateline is nearing and it always seem to be very near recently... Maybe for this semester...

I'm taking JAVA language in OOP and some Ethic module this semester... The report writing of the Ethic module is killing my team and me... Thought I don't dislike writing but I dislike report writing... I've never enjoy doing before... That's why, in my MSN nick, I wrote: It's JAVA time! Let's enjoy!

Indeed I do enjoy programming with JAVA so far...

All assignment 1 (both module) had cleared and now come the assignment 2... JAVA is to play with the GUI(individual) and for the Ethic to write a report of 4000 to 4500 words with my team of 4...

The report is to be due on 15 May 09 and the JAVA on 21 May 09... hope I'm able to finish it on time...

Long lost feeling...

2009-04-13T10:33:00.002+08:00

Hahaha... Went to ply facebook just now... And you know what?

Saw Ivan online... You know right, facebook have this function that allowed you to chat with friends that are login to facebook... and so happen that I saw him online...

Didn't dare to write him a sessage though but I went to check on his account... It seems like he just came back from a diving trip...

I think the photo he uploaded were all his work... It's beautiful... I don't know why every time I see his photo of any of the diving trip. I'm always being touched.... The photos all look so nice and ... comforting? I don't know how to express...

Anyway, I think I missing him... But as long as I'm busy, I'm able to forget about them... haha...

Richard... Ivan... I'm trying to let go...

School term strats...

2009-04-08T21:54:00.002+08:00

Yeah... I'm not very in the mood now... At least not for study yet... Wanted to work hard but some how I'm not show any at all...

Espeacially for CSCI213 module... It's OOP in JAVA!!! I'm doom...

But I'll work hard... As hard as I could manage...

School life still the same... Getting to team up with another team to do group assignment for IATC201 module... It's something regarding ethic...

AND IT'S ALL THEORY BASE!!!

I think if I don't put in more effort this time round I'm going to flung both the module again...

I MUST WORK EXTRA EXTRA HARD THIS TIME ROUND!!!

New Lappy...

2009-03-30T23:14:00.002+08:00

Today went to get my Lappy...

Wasn't that happy as compare to the first Lappy mum brought for me... Though this time round it's also pay by mum...

Anyway, I get what I wanted... The software... All the MS office...

Yeah...

Reached home around 3pm had a light lunch then continue installing the programs I need to the new laptop...

This took me half of the day...

Dad called around 6pm and ask us to go Jurong Point for a walk... Surprisingly brother is able to join us... That make me super happy...

It's so rare that we are able to go out as a family... Even we only went to the NTUC Extra but still that's make me happy... It's a enjoyable trip...

Hope there are more times to go out as one family...

Okay, time for bed... Night everyone...

Orientation....

2009-03-28T09:50:00.003+08:00

Yeah... We SIM-UOW students was organizing an orientation for our fellow new student one one of last few day...

Welcome to our big family!!!

Frankly this time round wasn't a big one... The in-take this semester was like less than twenty people... Still we put all our hearts in it the help and plan the programs and the games... It was fun though I got a few embarrass moment due to me carelessness...

Sorry!!! I would say to those I make them sad or angry...

I think if I were being but in the in-charge for the next orientation, I'll probably try something small again or have 2 or 3 plan on hands... Anyway it's easier to say than to work and put it into action...

Hahaha... Just wait and see...

Going out soon... Chaos...

Heven breaking news...

2009-03-26T12:41:00.002+08:00

I've been wondering why am I living on earth? Why money is so important in this world? Why do we need money to even gets things done?

There are so many whys after I heard my mum breaking the new to me... How I hope it's not true. It won't really happen... But what can I do besides praying? Once again, I felt so useless and helpless...

I'm always relying on others, I've always...

Mum getting retrenched but that's only the stage one notice. Since she's a union committee member she gets the chance to know the news (I'm not sure was it allowed but she's being informed).

This news was not that shocking at first but after a few minutes the I started to feel panic...

I must think of some way to get cash to support the family... But how? I wouldn't know...

I thought of Amway, but the problem is I'm not into sales that's why... I'm thinking of getting a part time job but seems like at a time like this it is very difficult to do so...

What should I do? Is there anyone that can advice me?

Emo...

2009-03-23T22:24:00.002+08:00

This month is a very emotional month... At lease it is to me...

There are a lots of things happened this month...

How I wish I'm able to write in here with out a single thoughts being missed out... But I know, I'm not a robot or machine, I can't be that perfect...

Anyway I'm going to list as much as I can remember from the starts of this month...

Starting of this month, there I'm in school and friends house to rush for the project/assignment for the system development module... After we had hand in the assignment, there's a week break followed by the Exams...

Almost Straight after the Exam, I received a letter form SIM upon the payment of the school fees for the next 6 months... It's a 4k plus plus amount of money... With that there comes the purchase of a new laptop for me to do my programming homework which added another 1.8k plus plus...

upon that, I'm just getting thirty bucks for a weeks for all my expenses... And I've just joined Amway recently which it's member fees is 69 bucks and also I brought a set of facial product @ 99 dollars...

And so, I'm not receiving any work for this month which led me to me so tight for this month... I'm super super tight for the time being... If possible I'll avoid all the social entertainment and events that require travelling...

I'll need to save my pocket at once in order to afford those activities...

My mum have also complained that recently I'm traveling too much and she is the one that pay for my school fees and transport fees... Do you thing I still have the heart to spent any more of her hard earned money?

Frankly speaking, since I've understand that money is difficult to earn, I'm stopped asking for more or increase of my pocket... I think it's for around 6 to 7 years that I hadn't ask for a "pay" raise...

I just don't feel that it is the right thing to ask for a raise since my parents are trying their best to save they expenses in order to give their child more and the best they could afford... I just can't tell myself to ask for it...

Okay back to the events happened this month...

Yesterday went to pray for the death with my mother's side family... Our china relative had joined just for this once... But they had left to they homeland today... It's kind of a sad seance but I didn't have the time to see them off... Now thinking back, for this few months, though it's not a very long time or we didn't really live or contact with them much but still now when their gone, I felt sad and empty in my feeling... I think I'll miss them...

Coming next is the new in-take orientation of SIM... It's going to happen this week and everything seem not being settle yet... I'm so tired of this kind of stuff so last minute, so helpless... Nothing much can be done... But still I should get used to it and quickly find a solution to it... Lucky this time round I'm not the in-charge so I wouldn't have to make all the decision...

Which led to...

I'm slacking at home as much as I wanted... Haha... I've been watch drama, anime, and manga this few days or weeks...

I'm rotting at home now... Since I've no extra cash to spent this is the best choice... haha...

Anyway after writing this entry, I suddenly have this thoughts:

If I were to marry and give birth to children, before I say yes, we'll need to have all the money being saved up for children educations, living expenses, and the money for the hosing... These are all the basic things we need to prepare or get ready to form a family...

Okay, I'm done... Feeling better... It's time for me to turn in... Night everyone...
Signing off at 11.02 pm

Yes!!! Exams over!!!

2009-03-18T18:55:00.002+08:00

Finally over... Today last paper... I think this time round if I'm able to clear the modules, I'll be celebrating it.

Have no idea why, my interest in study had decreased this semester. Resulting me struggling through the testes and assignment and now the exam... I did tried my best to put in effort to study but still it's too late to do so... In this little time what I can do is memorize the methods and structure then apply it in the exam...

But I think I still didn't do a good job...

Anyway, I'll try to find back my interest in studying.. For my parents and my sake...

I'll work hard!

Personality test...

2009-03-15T15:46:00.002+08:00

When to do a personality test a few minutes ago and find the result quite true.

If you are interested, Please visit http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx to do it.

Below is the reading for my test:

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Go ahead and try...

Since...

2009-03-04T01:18:00.002+08:00

Wow! How long have I blog since my last post?

Yeah... I know it's long but finally I'm here to have a entry.

Anyway, life isn't fun for the past few weeks. Assignment, assignment and assignment... I think I really don't like coding. Especially those that is not being introduce to me before and I'm ask to code a program with it.

I think for CSCI 212 I really struggle alot. More that CSCI 204 last semester. Still I manage to craw to the shore for 3 of the assignments and 2 tests. Next will be the exam. Hope I won't drown this time. I really need to work hard for the exam...

Let me pray...

Hope CSCI 222 won't be too bad too...

Let me pray...

Okay, time for bed... Night everyone!

A tired, tired day...

2009-02-19T00:09:00.003+08:00

Slept at around 2 am in the morning and being woke up by mum at 8.15am. Get up from bed at 8.30am and ate breakfast at 9am.

Doesn't it sound very, very normal?

Guess what? The next few hours also passed so normally. Mother surfing the net, doing house chores at the same time didn't forget the nag at her daughter. Daughter sitting in-front of a laptop working on the proposal her team are expecting her to finish as soon as possible, she didn't really bother what mother is nagging about. On the other hand Father had left home for work and Brother was still sleeping in his room. He was not expected to be woken till noon had passed.

Anyway, this is what happened to me this morning... It's as normal as other days.

Time passed, clocks hits 11.35am. Daughter packed her studying stuff and left home. On the way to meet her friends, she was looking at the clear blue sky and started thinking: Why is the sky so blue, so beautiful? When will her life be as beautiful as the sky?

It's a thoughts she had since she had grown old enough. She wanted baby, children. She loved them. She enjoy being with them.The bus came, she board the bus. This time, she wonders: If she grew old, will she be healthy and happy? Will strangers gives her seats when on public transport?

After she met up with her friend, she started to recall: What have she done in this life that were best to remember? Could she had a memory of that kind in her whole life?

And so time flies... It never waits for us. Never.

And so she went home with 2 sets of MacDonald's meal. After sharing the meals with other 3 persons, she went for a swim and a chat with her cousin.

So her day ended after the a talk with her cousin. Recalling... What had she done for the day? Nothing was the answer. This is life to her and her life is so plan. It's so plan till she didn't realize what had happen around her. Not even a single second. What a pity child.

And so till here, the daughter's story ended..

What do feel about the daughter's life? Boring?

Anyway life can be boring it can also be interesting. It's just a point of view on how you look at it. It can be as boring as the above one or it can be as fun as the below story. And the story will be continued tomorrow.

Night every one...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway, I'm not in the mood to write a interesting sorty about my life now... Will write one once all my assignment is over.

-- 20th Feb 2009 11:26pm

Night every one...

I feel so guilty!!!

2009-02-16T21:46:00.003+08:00

I feel like shit now... Blame me, curse me... I don't care... I know it's my fault for forgetting it... In here I seriously, wholeheartedly apologize!

I'm sorry! I'M SORRY!

I know, I know... The person I'm apologizing won't see this post but still I need to write out to balance out my guilty feeling...

Hate to be forgetful but still some times I'll still have those mistake... Can't help it when you grow older...

-9.46pm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmm...

Today I'm so emotional...

After reading a email from my tutorial lecturer, I wrote back to her on my feeling towards her teaching... I like her seriously... Her way of couching is good, great and excellent! She's the best lecturer I've met so far in SIM..

Anyway this is what she wrote:

Hi all,
I realised that some of you find it very depressing and
disheartening after I've highlighted to the class those commonly made
mistakes :( Well, I think as a tutor, it is my responsibility to
point out the mistakes so that you will not make it in your future
undertaking (e.g. in your coming quiz, exam, next semester or third
year etc.) Quite a no. of you asked me how much penalty will I impose
if you make this and this mistake. I think this is not so much of the
points that I want to make. I just want to highlight to the class,
there are other better and more efficient alternatives :) As for
those who can do it in a better and more efficient way, I think we
should really reward them e.g. bonus or other means but it does not
mean that we will always penalise those who did not do it :) Hope that
all of you can understand what I mean. During the demo, when I pointed
out the problems and mistakes, it does not always mean that ... Oh no,
Mdm Lai is going to deduct mark etc. :) I shall also look at other
aspects.

Put aside this, I think I am always accommodative and considerate in
terms of submission and other aspects but I think in terms of academic
and knowledge, I have to be strict and hopefully try to be fair in
that. I just hope that everyone here will learn something besides just
passing the module.

Well, if you have any questions regarding the assignment 3, you are
encouraged to ask using this discussion group, I will try my best to
help.

Cheers,

And I replied:

Hi Mdm Lai,

I do appreciate your hardwork and I'm very grateful that you had pointed out our common mistake. I do like to hear more regarding on that in the next tutorial. And I personally think you are a very responsible tutor or even lecturer. I wholeheartedly thank you to be so thoughtful as a lecturer. And I believe that there are students who do appreciate your doing. As for asking question, I personally feel that it's not that I don't want to ask but it's just that I hadn't even put 100% of effort in the work and I just give up and start asking for solution, I can't ask myself to do so because I know if I really try or search the internet there will always have a good answer towards the problem I'm having. Also there's no definite answer to a question especially it in the programming world. It's a matter that the code is long or short, workable or non-workable, understandable or not-understandable. I always believe that I shall use things that I understand and not solely copy blindly. At least this is what I feel. Hope this would show you what I felt. Thanks for reading.

Regards,
Lee Si Hui
Post Options
Ha Ha Ha... At least for so long I'm able to type a reflection journal to my teacher/lecturer/ facilitator to read. This is a RP culture that I'm used to it and I miss it... A lot, a lot... Felt so touched that I'm able to write my feeling out again... Hope Mdm really could understand.

Good night everyone...

--12.46am

happening...

2009-02-12T21:10:00.014+08:00

Finally... I know today I'm happy... Very happy...

Yesterday went for the movie called "The Wedding Game" by Fann Wong and Christopher Lee.

Nice show to watch if you wanted to pass time... He He...

Anyway that's not the things I'm happy about... It's something about the previous post... Yes Palm reading...

I went for it... Yes! I'm not dreaming...

By the way I didn't quite remember what the master had said so in here I could only type out what I remembered...

This is a 20 buck consultation...

There are 6 categories:

1) Personality
2) Career
3) Marriage/love?
4) Health
5) Travel
6) Children/ Fertility

Will update once I remembered on the topic covered...

Anyway, the master said:

-I'm a "旺夫" person
-I'm also a person that will enjoy life
-Either I'll support my husband (if he's the type that is helpless) or he'll support all my expenses
-He better can support all my expenses
- I'm a " 女强人"
- Either I control my husband (if he's the type that is helpless) or he will control me
- I shall get a sexy husband
- I have good memory
- I'm a busy body
- I'm good in telling white lies
- I'm best in the career of teaching, counseling, business (that I'm interested in), political
-I'm a good strategist, I can see thing people can't
-I'm a very logical person
-I'm a very emotional person
-I'm good in expressing my tots and feeling but not love
- I'll hardly fall in love, when I'm in love the background does not matters
- I'm a "重感情" person
-Therefore I shall be proactive if not the man will move away
-I care/worried for people (busybody)
- When I want things done I'll get things done
-I'll need to cut down on potatoes, coke, and rice if not I'll be expecting diabetes
-I'll need to look after my lungs, wombs and kidney
-I'll need to drink more water to avoid kidney failure
-If there are high blood pressure in my family line, I shall look out for it
-if I like to travel I'll travel a lot in the future
-I'll marry a man that are either 10 years younger or older than me...
-most likely it will be older, a 35 or 25 year old man??
-I should get a man that are able to support my way of living
-I'm confident
-If I were to travel, I'll need to avoid water. I'll need to go with my 6th sense if not I'll most likely be drown.
-I a person who have a strong 6th sense
-I'm a materialistic person
- My money comes and goes
- I'll be expecting "贵人"
-if I were to marry, my husband will or will not have the following 4 points:
1) he is total opp from me,(I can only remember one)
- though this year in Chinese for rabbit is not a good year, but in astro way this year is a good year for me.
-my lucky colour is black, brown, green
-lucky number is 2, 7 and 8

I think that's all I can remember for now... Hope I can recall more... Which I don't know will it happen...

And here's is my cousin's reading:

I am a materialistic person

· Most likely I will get married at the age of 28

· I am stubborn, so need to change this else I will be unhappy

· I am a career woman

· Most likely I will be travelling frequently

· Most likely to migrate

· I have good relationship with foreigners so most likely my husband will be a foreigner as well

· I am not close with my close relatives (i.e. parents, siblings, husband, children)

· I better watch out with what I do or say else I might land myself in law suit

· If I am in business it better be private limited not partnership else if my partner runs away I will be in trouble

· Do business that I am familiar with

· I will be good in the industry of trading or customer service

· My husband has to be on par or stronger than me

· He say I can’t save because I indulge

· I am a jealous and possessive person

· I will only fall in love once or twice in my life

· Because I indulge in food, I need to look after my intestine

· Can’t be a guarantor

· My lucky number 5, 3, 7

· Wear light blue or red

· Can’t judge a person well

· Trust person too easily

· Got a lot people to help me

· Look for a sexy husband

· I am a logical person

· Don’t know how to boot lick

· My success is extreme, either I will be extremely successful or it is a total failure (i.e. bankrupt)

· My life will be extreme good or extreme bad

· I am a risk taker

When I'm in love the background of the man does not matters

Hope you enjoyed both my reading and my cousin's one...

Palm Reading...

2009-02-11T13:22:00.002+08:00

Shall go for the reading or not?

I'm always interested in those future tell stuff...

I had tried tarot card and always wanted to learn Palm Reading.

Today I had class in morning and afternoon so I'm in school for whole day!!!

It's tiring... But something in the morning class gives me some energy for not falling a sleep. He He... Today's topic is about networking and API socket... It's all sound so familiar to me... And I realize I'm smiling at the terms the lecturer is explaining...

Memories flashes back and too I can't help missing RP... I miss Ivan, the class, the module I took and Richard... Everything just link up... I miss them!!!

Anyway there are some more things happened in school that interested me more!!!

IT's~~~~

Palm Reading... 20 buck for a reading for health, wealth, children, marriage, and many more that I can't remember now... ha ha... Was planning to go for it before Friday but not with my classmate. Maybe I'll ask my cousin to accompany me...

Ha ha... Finally I'll get one reading very very soon...

When I'm still a child... When I grew up...

2009-02-10T09:17:00.002+08:00

When I'm still a child,
I thought that this world is so beautiful.
It is not when I grew up...

when I'm still a child,
I always thought that this world is full of warmth.
It is not when I grew up...

When I'm still a child,
I've always imagine that when I grew up everything will be the same.
It is not.

And nothing will be the same when I grew up.

I see people fighting/killing for money!
I see people's heart as cold as ice!
I see how mother nature took away peoples' life!

It's so cruel
It's so unfair
It's so injustice

It will never be the same! No it won't be...

Human changed,
environment changed,
everything changed.
Nothing will be the same.

离开家乡，海外求学。。。

2009-02-08T14:10:00.002+08:00

今天，哥哥的朋友及将程今晚的班机前往澳大利亚，求学去了。虽说我和她的感情并没那么好，可是我却有种依依不舍的感觉。

对了，说到出国，哥哥也申请到国外完成他的课业。申请已通过了。现在等待时间的到来。说到这心头有浮起隐隐的不舍得。“哥哥！我会想你的！” “别想我啦！不要！”

咳~这就是哥哥会应我对他的关爱呀！真是伤透我的心。也罢，占时别管他。

该去忙我的课业了。晚一点在聊！

Reading and Reading

2009-02-04T11:44:00.002+08:00

Hmm... I think I'm really a bad student for now. Today assignment 1 for CSCI222 is going to due and our team had only finished 98% of it. the other 2% is the technical fault due to the software we are using, going to consult Dr. Sim later, he's our lecturer.

Just hope that he's able to help us and give us some guides and an extension for the handing in. Just hoped.

By the way personally I'm also holding an other atomics boom on my other hand which is CSCI212 assignment 2. Is going to due on 14 Feb which is less that 2 weeks from now. The worst is that I've no mood to get started not even now!

And what I'm doing this few days and weeks, I think you all can't believe.

Yes! I'm reading novels both English and Chinese.

I know I shouldn't but don't know why, when I don't feel like doing my assignment or tidying my room I wanted a novel in my hand to read. I'm such a helpless and hopeless person..

Okay, Time for school shall go prepare see you later...

Wow! Time really flies...

2009-01-31T23:11:00.003+08:00

It's 2009 last day of January and 2009 6th day of lunar January.

I've just finished and hand in my CSCI212 assignment 1 not more than 24 hours ago. Was quite relived when I finish my assignment during yesterday CSCI222 class...

Yes! I'm a bad student but who cares? I'm more concern in my completion of the assignment than the lecture... I'm sorry for the lecturer as he's one of my favourite lecturer... I like the way he presented his slides and the way he made his presentation as interesting as his character. It just feel so good and well presented and attention taking...

Anyway in this 24 hours after the submission, I've finish reading a Chinese novel, visited my cousin's place as I promised and wished to visit... And when to school to print my lecture notes. Helped my mom making lunch for our visitor in the afternoon, after I came back from school.

See I did so many things but I still find that I've not enough time to spend with my family and friends. I always wanted a "sister" friend and I did have. I wished to have a elder sister and I did have a cousin sister. But the only thing that I don't really, at least I think so, have is the time to care and concern for my love one (family and friends).

But what to do? Life still goes on doesn't it?

Nite people... Weather is really bad..

Please take care of yourselves!

New year...

2009-01-28T17:25:00.003+08:00

There are 15 days of celebration for Chinese New Year. During the period, we, Chinese, are allowed to visit our relatives and friends. Not that we are not allowed after the celebration days.

Today is the Third day of the celebration and I'm being invited to my aunt house for dinner. Will be going very soon.

Before that Let me update on my trip yesterday. It was the most tiring day so far and we only manage to drop by 3 relatives house. The first stop is my paternal side eldest sister followed by the second in rank sister and lastly my lowest in ranking uncle.

Actually we wanted to go to my maternal side second uncle house but was too tired after taking a hot shower and decided to go on other day.

Nothing interesting happen yesterday.

And today, I'm at home the whole day time to try to work on my assignment which I don't think will be done by tomorrow.

Okay, I go get prepared for the dinner.

Later~

First day of new year...

2009-01-27T01:36:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was the first day of Chinese new year and I've visited most of my maternal relative places. We left with my 2nd maternal uncle's house to visit.

Later today, we shall be visiting my paternal relatives houses. Hopefully everything will be done and I'll have some time for my assignment.

By the way this year's red packet seems to be a little more compared to last in term of cash values. First day already collected near $100 and later on most likely will be getting 3 or 4 more but like I care. Not even going to bother.

Though there are extra cash in the new year but still when you have a mum beside keep nagging that giving red packet is a very high expenses for her what will you do as a child? Of course in first act was to offer her the money that I've collect. And what to do? I'm not financially stable for now so I can't be offering to pay the total amount for her. By the way I believe she won't accept it. She knows my statues.

Lastly, again, Everyone HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Night!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-26T00:32:00.003+08:00

New Year is here!

And it's 30min old!

By the way Happy new year everyone!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did some nail painting just now and these are the outcome.

My Right hand.

My Left hand

And My TOE!

I know it's not professionally done but this is the best I can do for myself.

And I don't really like to paint my nails. Just don't like the after feel of the painting... But for CNY I'm going to bare with it for 2 days...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Was chatting with Ivan a few minute ago.

At first I just want to pop by to wish him Happy New Year since he's online. It's miracle to find him online on a holiday eve. I'm prepared that he's not at his computer or he's not going to reply me as yesterday. And who knows, he accepted my greeting and chat with me regarding my MSN nickname.

He seem very keen on shell/bash programming which on my side, it's kill me. I think I'm hopeless in shell programming/scripting.

By the I had a nice chat with him and hope there is another chance awaits me.

PS: I Miss You!

-12:33Am

Chinese New Year 2009!

2009-01-25T11:40:00.004+08:00

It's here!

This is the period we Chinese are the busiest and frustrated and happiest.

Frankly speaking this time, I did experience all the 3 I've mention above.

Busy is that I need to help my parents to tidy and clean the house along with my assignment not even half done and a test waiting for me straight after the New Year break.

Frustrated is because with all the busy stuff, my brother is not giving a damn on helping! He's always out meeting with friends and always come home very late after school. Was wondering what his friends has to keep him so "busy" with them. Seriously I could not comprehend.

Lastly I'm happy after all, cause today, yes only today. My brother finally is with us and helping us to clean and tidy the house. Though he slept in through the morning but I'm still happy that he didn't have any plan with his buddy friends. And the house is finally in a less mess condition.

My room is in order as my dad have done fixing the wardrobe and they (Dad and Brother) had rid off the old one. Still I'm not getting a comfortable space I'm hoping for but I think I'm able to get over it. At least my room is in a good and clean and tidy form now. He He...

Bed sheet changed, cupboard clean, books in the shelves, notice board decorated and clothes in the new wardrobe tidy and organize.

The only things I left is to wash the bath room, and my electrical fan.

Okay enough of blogging today. Will be back after everything is really done...
-11:40AM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes I'm back as i said earlier, I'm done with my room. And settling down to continue my assignment. I'm not in any hope to complete it by today or even before Chinese New Year anymore.

I'll just need to face it.

By the way here are some pictures.

My room after all the cleaning and tiding.

This is my notice board I've mention earlier.

Time for assignment.

See you soon and Happy Chinese New Year!!!

Finally...

2009-01-23T23:39:00.003+08:00

At least! My wardrobe is finished and ready to move in.

It is kind of bigger that my previous one but some how it's like I don't have enough place to stuff my clothes and bags in.

Anyway, I'll just need to figure out during New Year time. Now it's not the time for that.

My room is still in a mess. Not say my house. Mum had tried her best to tidy and clean it but it's like nobody is helping. And me alone is already busy enough.

My room is already clean but it's not tidy yet. Half of it is because of the new brought wardrobe the other half is... Actually it's my lecture note laying around. So I have nothing much to complain.

Speaking of complain, I just couldn't stand it anymore! It seems like my brother are the only one who didn't help in the cleaning process. I've tried to talk to him but all the answer I got are "What to do? I so busy. I don't have time." What a excuses! Finally today when he got home, I've asked him, "What time your school ends, and what is the time now? Won't you help in the cleaning?" I think that stunned him.

I'm not angry with him but rather frustrated on his lack of concern about this house. Like my mum said, " Here is a hotel to him. He return when he needs rest."

I agreed to that cause I think one day I might be the same but hope it will not happen in the near future.

Okay back to closet. Here are some photo I took. It's still hot so be careful.

This is how it look after I've loaded with my clothes...

These took Daddy 4 full night to complete!

Finally is in operation.

It's late. Turning in. Night everyone.

Wasting of time...

2009-01-22T22:57:00.003+08:00

The title of this entry is totally correspondence to what I'm up to today. I have 2 assignment yet to complete and hand in on 30 Jan and 4 Feb respectively. And a test to be studied when I'm expecting it on 20 Jan.

And I'm spending time to read novel!

Very bad of me... And today's class is all about project management and disciplines which I definitely failed to do so.

I'm not up sad with myself for now as I'm happy reading books. Novels to be corrected.

So I've finish reading one of my collection, I decided to really start working on my assignment. Hopefully I'm able finish as soon as possible. I don't dare to say before new year as I know it is impossible when I start now.

Hahaha...

Here is the latest new on my newly brought and assemble wardrobe.

Still it's not done yet and it left with the door for my side and my brother one is the drawer, the "hook" for the hanger and the door... I'm lucky that dad is doing mine first. Ha ha..

By the way here's the manual guide to assemble the closet. Could you comprehend it? In my case I'm not able to. It doesn't tell me much. But amazingly my dad is able to almost complete it even with out looking at it!

Cool! I'll credit his for that.

I'll be updating when my cupboard is fully done... I promise to come with a picture with it... And I seriously doubt that it will be today... Dad will be spending his 4th night assemble it. I didn't expect it to take him so long to finish it. I felt so guilty right now when while he is working on it.

I hate to felt helpless.

Okay it's work time...

Sayonara!~

2009-01-21T09:38:00.004+08:00

My wardrobe was half done again... As yesterday my dad actually dismantle mine and rebuild.

It's a long story I believe. In short, is that my dad build my brother's set in the living room and was about to move it to his room they realize that they are not able to do so.

Therefore they dismantle my set and move my brother's set in to my room and rebuild the original mine in my brother room. Actually it make no difference to me as both of it look the same...

My dad promised to try finish the cupboard by today but seriously I don't want him to over work... He does look tired which make me a little worry...

I don't know why, but he seems to look more and more fragile each day... My mum too...

Hope they are as healthy as before.
-9:38 AM
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmm~ Was trying to do my CSCI212 assignment and did manage to move some steps yet the finishing line is still so far away.

By the way was also waiting to see how will my closet look like when everything is done but I think I might not be able to wait till that late.

I'm turning in soon, very soon! Too tired to stay up for another hour and my brain is not working properly already. Its' in sleep mode. So must well let her have a good night rest... Then I'll continue it in the morning... Early morning...

So Everyone, do have a good night sleep!

Oyasumi~ Yawn~
-10:34PM

Tuesday Movie time...

2009-01-20T16:54:00.007+08:00

Yes!

Finally having day off for the lesson I'm going with my parents till the end of Chinese New Year. So glad. Going for a movie later.

This is my Birthday month and I got a small treat from GV (Golden Village). A buy one get one free voucher for the ticket. Though it's only usable once but I'm happy.

The e-voucher which I printed in school >.<

I've invited Viory to come with me for the movie called:

Ponyo on the cliff by the sea

Hope we will like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back from the movie.

I think I like the movie. And I realize a pattern in the studio production. Most of it is surrounded by either magic or myth and love/romance.

May be it's because of it I came to love their movie production.

Do you remember "spirited away"? I end up watching and watching that movie whenever I got the chance and never got tired of it. It was a touching story to me. And there's this movie called "totoro" it's my first cartoon movie that I've watch.

I remembered then I was hoping that I'm able to be the main act in the movie. Only when I was older, I then realize that's was only a movie and it won't be true.

Ha ha ha...

Interesting tots...

Of course, now I'm hopping for romance in my life and so far I'm in no hope. There's no chem between my male school mate (at least so far) or my friends. I think I'm hopeless in romance this life...

hahaha...

Fine!

I'll just accept the fact when it's settle.

It's late... Night everyone!

-1.01AM

My Day...

2009-01-19T23:50:00.001+08:00

Sunny day but not warm or humid.

New year approaching, mood to relax but can't. More coding to be done before CNY if I wanted a peaceful New Year.

Today brought my Brother's Laptop to school together with the 2 module's lecture notes. Heavy! Since I've graduate from RP I wasn't caring laptop to school. And now the routine is back again.

I swear it's heavy, with the extra stuff I brought along for the class and project management meeting. Hopefully I'm able to pull it through this semester.

-5:00PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah. This is the second part of my entry.

Was waiting for my new closet for my clothes. It was requested to be delivered after 7pm.

8PM, still waiting. So I decided to help my dad to de-shell the ginkgo (Bai Guo) and the phone rang at 10pm. It was the deliver man who called and they reached us at 10.30PM.

Tired. And my hand is so sore due to the de-shelling.

Dad: I think I tomorrow then fix the cupborad.
Me: ... Anything lar... (Still de-shelling)
(Dad try to move the puzzle of the cupboard)
Me: Hey! Wait! I come help you... (de-shell the last one in my hand and moved over the living room)
Me: Where shall we move to?
Dad: Your room.
Me: ok...
(After moving the 2nd last puzzle)
Dad: I think we'll open this box and bring the pieces in.
Me: ... (helping him to remove the box)
Dad: (after bring in the pieces, removing the screws and locks for a bag in the pack.) Hmm... so many of them how to use them?
(Started remove more boxes that we have move in not long ago.)
Dad: Let me thing, it's easy. See this put here, that put there.
~BANG! Bang!

End up I'm helping him to fix it and now it's only half done and we were all too tired.

This is the half done one...
-1:00AM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here is another part of my entry but it is on the present of my birthday.

Remember I write about the 2 presents I received make me happy? Here's the bag present.

White bag... Love it.

Here are the present owner. Xin ling on my right and Hui xin on my left.

And our name links. Si Hui, Hui Xin, Xin Ling. haha. Nice one isn't it?

-2:00AM

GoodNight Friends!~

Note: Fallen too deep for Twilight! I'm loving it!~~

Twilight Soundtrack...

2009-01-18T19:49:00.002+08:00

Was browsing through the web on the news and website about the Twilight 2 - New Moon production information and I came across this Soundtrack of Twilight 1.

So I decided to give the soundtrack a try. Of course I'm going for online version. Not going to downloading it. I'm planning to get one but before that I'll need to try it before I get it in case it's not worth the money.

There are 12 tracks altogether. I find the tracks not bad after listening it a few times. I'm a person who don't really like rock music but after listening to a few of the tracks, I get used to it and I'm enjoying the noisiness. Also there are a few quieter songs. Like track 9 - Eyes on Fire, track 11- Flightless Bird, American Mout and track 12 - Bella's Lullaby.

This are the few tracks that I like most:

Track 1 - Supermassive Black Hole by Muse
Track 2 - Decode by Paramore
Track 3 - Full Moon by The Black Ghosts
Track 9 - Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation
Track 11 - Flightless Bird, American Mout by Iron & Wine
and Track 12 - Bella's Lullaby by Carter Burwe

I'll get the CDs asap and I'll upload it and play it here.

I promise it will be very soon.

I also had tried another album from Carter Burwe. It's the classical music side of Twilight and too, I love the album. But since I'm current under tight budget, I'm getting the Soundtrack album first. It make more sense to listen to tracks that have words now.

Chuckle

I'll introduce the Album soon; when I get hold of a copy of it.

No mood for work...

2009-01-18T00:18:00.002+08:00

School had started 3 weeks before and I'm seriously not in the mood to study... And the worst is that this week, the assignment for both of the modules I'm taking is out! And almost due at the same time...

Now it's not the time for daydreaming or letting my mood controlling me... I know I need to get started now but some how there are things pulling me back... What am I going to do?

No matter what, everything shall be place aside for the time being... I've play my part in keeping and tidying my room for the Chinese New Year. Now it's the time for my studies...

Note: Still in love with Twilight!!!

in school...

2009-01-16T13:56:00.001+08:00

yes!

i'm in school now blogging... ha ha... again using my hp to do so..

today is a long day for me... whole day of class from 9am to 12pm and 2pm to 5pm... received both of my assignment for both module... wondering how am i going to cope this semester...

lucky one of it is a team assignment... ha ha... just hope the the other one i'm able to handle... coding again... and c++ again... ha ha...

okay, my second class hp starting soon. will be updating as soon as possible...

Twilight

2009-01-15T22:09:00.003+08:00

WOW!

I'm so in love with Twilight saga series!

Have been reading the ebooks for the past 2 weeks. Though I had actually finished it on the first week I've get hold of the ebook copy but it's just that I'm wasn't done reading the book...

So I end up reading the parts that I love so much again and again...

Planning to get the hard copy soon. As soon as the market is stock with the whole series...

Been on a lookout for almost a month but still they are not stocking... Thought of getting the books online but it's too expensive... So i drop the idea and be patient, waiting for the stocks to reached Singapore...

By the way, if you had watch the twilight movie, you should not miss the book series too... It more details in the story description... Shouldn't have missed it...

But be prepared it's a long story...

My present... Love it!!!

2009-01-15T09:12:00.004+08:00

Hey I'm back again!

Decided to have a post on my Birthday Chocolate Present... This is what Viory get for me... He he... Also love it... and I've already finished the whole box...

Below is how the chocolate look like inside and outside..

This is what it's look like after I've removed the wrapper and trying to put the ribbon together with the box of chocolate.

It's Ribbon is so beautiful...

My wishes from Viory... Like it though it's just simply a few hand written words...

And this what look like inside! It's wonderful! Taste beautiful too... Ha ha...

Btw I also have another present. But for that I still haven't have the chance to take a photo of it. But I had already start using it. Though the bag is in white, it look so right... Hope the bag will not get dirty so soon... Ha ha ha...

Thanks again My friends

>.< o.O -.- ^.- ^.^

it's long

2009-01-10T23:25:00.001+08:00

dear friends, it's been long since my last post here. by the way i'm using my hp to do the entry now.

i'm not going to update much on my past event but i would like to write about my current state...

as most of my close friends know, today is my birthday. 21st birthday.

but i'm not going to celebrate it in a large scales. went for dinner with a few of my friends for the past 2 days and i'm happy, no is very happy about...

seriously some time i preferred to have a small scale of celebration then big one. but once in a while i enjoy a big celebration, in terms of birthday celebration...

i do like celebration and receive present but the problem is, is the gift useful to me? for me food, bags, and those basic daily product is all useful but please never ever get me beauty product or soft toy unless i've request for it.

so far, those present were being put aside and being forgotten only a few of them till now i'm still using...

so this is for my friends, next time if you are getting something, please ask or check with me before handed...

ok lastly, i would like to wish all the friends of mine who happen to celebrate their birthday this month happy birthday:)

Daddy's Birthday...

2008-11-15T16:48:00.002+08:00

Daddy's Birthday is coming... It's time to count down...

7 days away...

I'm sorry dad, on the actual day am not free to help you celebrate... Promise will blow candle one day before okay?

Cake already order... Mango topping one... he he...

Hope you like it... Shall we sing happy birthday song too?

assignment and Assignment and ASSIGNMENT!!!

2008-11-12T09:44:00.002+08:00

For the pass 2 month (since Oct started) I've been rushing for assignment. One done come the other one... Having 2 module this semester which means I'll need to finish 6 assignment with the 3 month...

The first assignment I got was a C++ one... That was enough to make me stress for the start... C++ what the hell is that? I've heard it but never see or use it before. I don't have the basic of the language and I'm going to study and code it in a inter-mid standard student! Struggle, struggle and struggle for the first 2 or 2 and half week and thinks get easier after the warm up.

That was not the way! It got even tougher. C++ assignment 2 is out and here come the database assignment 1! Again it's another struggling and finally I handed in the database assignment and started with my C++.

Though there are struggle but it is that manageable. And it's good that the C++ assignment 2 dead line is being extended. We have one more week to finish but it was not the way again! The database assignment 2 is out and it have around the same dead line as the C++ now!

Think that for the assignment 2 of both module I'm able to easily made it to the dead line but what for the assignment 3? I believe that I'm get both of them around the same week and I'm only given one week to finish both the assignment. Am I able to manage by then?

So I come out with the plan, it's better for me to finish the C++ assignment 2 within the old dead line and if possible finish the database assignment within 3 days and I would be able to start with my C++ assignment 3 as the question is already being handed out.

But till today, my database is still half done and I'm stuck. I would hope my plan does go smoothly at the end of today.

Invisible Stress?

2008-11-10T00:00:00.003+08:00

For the past few days, I'm working on my coding assignment and also database one too... though the C++ assignment, I'm able to finish it on Friday, I'm not happy... Don't know why I kept thinking of the next assignment and the time for me to finish it is so little. I couldn't even smile from my heart...

As for the database, it's just half done. It have 6 tasks and I left 3 more... I think at first I should say that I did not pay much attention to it but soon after the first assignment was handed to us I started to sweat as there are 2 assignment on going at the same time. And when one is over the other came straight with out giving any time to catch a breath...

Now with C++ assignment 2 finish and database half done, I'm super not happy with my working speed... Should be able to finish both of them by today by I failed...

Am rushing with time now as for me to have some time to catch a breath before the assignment 3 is out.

It's time for me to cope with the invisible stress...

Wow... Time passed...

2008-11-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

It's November 2008... I've completed Primary, Secondary school and Poly. Now in SIM for Degree... I've start school for one month. I've finish my module 204 and 235 assignment 1, now working on assignment 2. And I've live for 20 yrs, 10 mths and 20 days...

You see, there's a reason for this post... Went celebration for 2 consecutive Saturday and both were celebrating their 21 birthday... And a few days back I also receive a letter from MOH about me turning 21 and making my choice to be a donor of my organ after death...

After all this "incident" I was thinking is 21 yr old that importance? Though it is a age that the government draw the line between young adult and adult, but is there any different? To me I don't really see the point of celebration and it is the time where we will take fully responsible for our action...

Though I don't see points for celebration, but still after going to 2 party, I more or less would like to have a celebration too... Still money is the factor. I'm not working, and my weekly pocket money is $30. That money is not enough for me to save. I'm not getting extra if I feel that I'm still able to survive. I'm slowly getting my stationary and food with that amount some time even the transport if mum forgets to top-up...

I think I might have a mini celebration within friends or families...

Can't help feeling alone...

2008-10-27T22:10:00.002+08:00

I'm sick since yesterday and I still went to MH 21st Birthday Chalet... It's too bad that I'm not able to stay due to my health issue... I'm having a cold/ flu due to insufficient of sleep and over stress...

Some more, today mum is acting strange after a visit my grandaunt home... I know well why she's so Moody but she only targeted on me which I don't see why... I did ate breakfast, and her veg... It's so much that it make no different before and after I ate... The one who didn't touch should be my brother and am I the only one get scolding?

It's not the first and won't be the last but it's too over... My brother is at home this time round and why am I the one being called? And when I heard what she told me my heart was like breaking into pieces... It's so hurtful... At that time it's so painful till I've no tears to drop only till not while writing this post, my tears is rolling down my chick...

With the incident and my current health situation, how am I not able to feel alone? Since so far mum is my most importance mental support in the house to me...

Can't help recalling another incident happen at bishan park where there's another wound cause by mum... I do know at that time I do hurt her too but what she did to me I'll never forget... You can say that I'm childish or selfish I don't mind... I just can't take it when people bring me out to some where I've never been before and left me there after a quarrel, without trying to search for me after a event to be attended and went home... At least give me a call or sms at that time and the wound won't be this deep...

It still hurts when ever mum told me something hurtful and too drops of tears will gather...

Can't help to feel alone even there's people around me...

Finally chiong finish my Assignment 1 task2 on time...

2008-10-19T23:10:00.003+08:00

Cool... I still have 1 hour to the due time... And... And...

I've finished and submitted my assignment_1 not once but trice!

First is on Thursday or Friday after I went home knowing the link is open for submission. Then the second is today around 8pm. At first I tot I had so call finished my program but after my second submission I went to the discussion forum for our module, I then realize that there are comments and some logic that I had missed out. And so I went back doing/adding the code and debugged it...

Lucky it took me less that the time is up... Phew...

Finally, the third submission came, it is few minutes ago... Should be my third and last submission... Too tired to make anymore changes or add in more function...

Just too tired as the whole day I didn't have time for a nap or rest...

When temple with mum today as she requested me to accompany her... And you know what? We left home at 9 plus, and guess what time we reached home? Having in mind that my assignment is still not yet done and still in the state of debugging and adding new function...

We reached home round 5pm... Almost 2/3 of the day is gone... But luckily, with this tired mind and body, my brain actually could work well and let me think...

And so I'm here blogging with my coding done (as what I think I'm happy with).

No time for rest again as I'll need to start assignment 2 soon and for module 235's assignment 1, it's coming too... Will be even more stress then....

Hope that I'm able to survive through this 2 years...

Assignment 1 task 2...

2008-10-12T22:23:00.002+08:00

Was doing my C++ assignment 1 task 2 and I'm so call stuck... Actually I'm not totally being stuck, it just that I don't see how my classes link with my code; there's no flow to it... Though I know what I wanted in the end, but it seems like I won't met the requirement if I continue. So why I should continue? Won't it just a waste of my time to do those extra things?

I just can't get over that uneasy feeling... I don't know what I'm doing is correct or not... I need someone to confirm with me that I'm moving in the right direction... And it seems like no one out there is able to give me that pad on my shoulder...

What am I suppose to do? Where can I find the encouragement? Is my coding logic correct? Anyone out there can help me?

I'm in a dilemma of continuing or redoing...

I missed my poly life, friends and faci...

2008-10-12T11:00:00.002+08:00

Since I graduated, this is the first time I felt that I missed them so much... The way of PBL, the concern of the classmate, the team work we had, the class bond and so much more to be recalled...

It is in RP that I truly met my first crash though I choose to kept it a secret till he left bur overall I missed RP's life...

Yesterday, I realize that they have changed the myrp look ever since I joined them... When to logging in to LEO and find that I'm able to get in... The page bring back so much memory and I have the sudden urge to write a RJ and the the evaluation for my teams... It was all in the past... I'm not able to do so now... Under the time table, no classes was assigned to me, no team mate and all that used to be there...

Felt so happy that I'm able to login yet after seeing all those, the happiness was once again fill by emptiness and image of people I've missed...

Logging out of LEO, I have the urge to keep in contact with my poly mates so went to IM them but found none to IM... What a sad out come... No people seems to be online... I think half of them are in NS, half are working hard for their life's... So no one to be blame... And life does goes and move on...

9 Oct 2008

2008-10-09T22:57:00.002+08:00

Emptiness is filling currently, my heart felt so cold and empty... Friends are getting to know their partners and I'm still alone...

I'm happy with the current state but some how when you see your friends is in the happiness some how you felt happy for them but at the same time, loneliness started to crept in to my heart...

On top of that, school work/assignment is also giving me the hopeless and useless feeling too... Though you will felt happy or fulfill after you have completed the assignment, but the feel is a very short sensation...

And very soon you are being forced to face the reality...

Like my 204 lecturer said "Life Still Goes on!" and it's very true... Now matter what had happen life still goes on...

School started...

2008-10-07T09:51:00.004+08:00

It's the Fourth day of school.

Today will be the first tutorial for OOP in C++ (subject code: 204).

Though I hate or dislike programming but I realize that if I were to move on in IT line, programming is a very basic thing that will be taught in the lesson. And I could also conclude that in IT there is no way that you can run away from coding or programming...

Though in some aspect, IT can be some job that does not require coding knowledge but to advance in the studies, it's no way to avoid it...

So I came to accept that I need to learn it and do it well so I could pass it.

The C++ assignment 1 is already giving me a headache since I've read it and tried to work on it. I'm progressing but in a very slow manner and I don't like it...

Compare to C++, database is a relatively lighter topic. As I have a basic knowledge of it, I just take the lesson as a revision and some thing that I'm able to have practice on... Though coding is need too but it's in a later stage... So I'm not so worried for the time being...

So, over all, I could say I'm still coping well but not fast enough...

Events... (2)

2008-10-01T21:03:00.010+08:00

Lets continue on, so after the flyer trip, the meeting the long lost relative session is waiting for us... Though I'm not the main character, my mum is, I still tag along... It's a great experience going to the News report center to fulfill the meeting...

The place was a serious environment, yet a cozy place where it seems I can relax... I didn't really participated in the meeting session as like I said I'm not the main cast... And I was avoiding the camera man..

After we left the center, we headed to Bishan area's coffee shop to continue the distance relative meet up session... Which at there I had my dinner as I'm meeting up PZ and WL at Chinese garden for the lantern festive...

Had a great time with them and we took lots of photos, on the theme character... Please do enjoy the photo below...

Events... (1)

2008-09-24T22:51:00.014+08:00

Cool! For the pass few weeks lots of event is happening... Family and Friends outing, cousin wedding and many more... Like today, there this orientation for the freshmen and I went... Though I didn't manage to take any photos but it's a great experience. Frankly speaking, I enjoy attending event and planning it. May it be a success or failure, I'll also enjoy it.

Okay! Enough of today, let me touch on something a few weeks back...

Lets see, the previous Sunday, it lantern festival also known as Mid-Autumn festival. It's a busy weekends I should say. On Saturday evening, I went over to the tample where my dad's doing volentery work for an early celebration. Therefore rested quite late.

On Sunday, early in the morning, my family and I went for the Singapore flyer. Book for 10am session and were ask to report half an hour before the boarding time. Thinking back, now I think I understand the reason for us to report half an hour before the boarding time; for us to take photo and it's like boarding plan, there's a long long way to go before you really see the flyer...

Below are some of the picture I took on board and after...

Vexing

2008-09-12T23:52:00.002+08:00

School starting in 3 weeks time and I've not receive any information on the book list and my time-table... Was waiting for the school to notice me since last week but nothing yet... Am I worrying things that I should not? I really don't know...

Coming weekend which is tomorrow and the following day, it will be a busy day for me... Saturday evening I'll be going over to Hai-Inn temple for the Mid-Autumn celebration and most probably I'll be waiting for my dad alone... Mum had a last minute OT to work... So can't blame her... haha...

Then on Sunday, my family and I will be going for the flyer in the morning. After that we'll need to go to Singapore press to meet up our long lost china relative (mother side). Once I thought of that, I become very tired...

Mum ask me to clean the living room in case they wanted to visit our home... But seriously I've no mood to do so... Wanted to throw my tantrum but there's no one at home for me to do so... Ahhhhh~~~~ I think I need to distress myself... I need to slim down too!!!

Anyone have any tips or ways to do so? It must be cheap and easy to perform...

Another day passed...

2008-09-12T00:14:00.002+08:00

Another fine day passed again... I'm at home doing nothing... Lazy body lazy to move... Dust is piling up and the day is nearing... I mean my cousin's wedding and the Mid-Autumn festival...

Actually I was looking forward to the Mid-Autumn celebration at the Hai-Inn temple tomorrow evening but some how my mood was spoiled by my mum... She has to work on that evening... Haiz... Just don't understand why her company have this kind of arrangement...

So the celebration was did look interesting enough for me....

I'm going Philippine this coming December... Ticket brought and some how I've regret on going... But it's a no backing out now... The ticket was consider cheap for a December trip... Back and fro for $499 per pax... And the draw back is the waiting hours was long... How should I explain...

You see we are going to Philippine Roxas and all the flight didn't provide direct transport. So we need to change flight at Manila to Roxas. Then the wait hours after we reach Manila till our next flight will be 7 hours plus or minus. That will be tiring but no choice as we are on budget...

Talk on budget, I'm seriously on tight budget now... Bank running low or I should say it's already at it's bottom... I'm totally broke this week or next... Too many things in mind to get and I didn't work for past 2 weeks!!! NOT EVEN A SINGLE DAY!!! Shit man... No extra money for good food now... Expenses of mine temporally is under my parents till get my next pay after I've start working...

Money Money~~ I love Money~~

PASSED!!!

2008-09-06T10:53:00.003+08:00

Finally Finally!!! After 3 tries I finally get what I wanted...

Though it happen with a few hours but it took out all my energy for the whole day...

I believe that I was having a cold or flu but I refuse to consult the doctor till everything had ended...

Woke up at 7.30am and get ready by 8am for breakfast but realize mum had not enough time to get ready. So in the end I only manage to get 2 slices of white bread with tuna spread... By the time I leave my house I was really upset by the weather and my stomach...

It was raining heavily after I board the bus to BBDC and I was worried that the rain will be that heavy when I'm having the test too... My heart was pounding as hard as possible in between my rib bones... I can feel the heat from my cheeks and I'm sure that my face looks pink while I waited for my warm up in the room...

I was being called, and a few minutes later I was driving nervously in the circuit and soon on the main road... My condition was as bad as I'm having practice lesson. When I'm driving (warm up) I felt light headed... It feels like everything around me floats pass... After the warm up, I was being lead to level 2 of the centre to wait for the turn of my test...

It was only 9.39am when I reach the room on second level. My test was at 10.15am... Only then I realize that my heart beat did not/ had not slowed down... It beat even faster and not only my face was hot, my whole body was burning too... I could feel that both my arms and legs was jelly like and I doubt that I'm able to even stand still without any supports...

I seated on the bench along the side wall of the room near the door and closed my eyes to concentrated on my breathing while telling myself, "Just take it as a normal practice, the rain will be smaller as the down pour had passed. Everything will be alright. Breath in. Breath out. In~ a.n.d out~." Slowly I feel better and was able to take in the environment around me...

The room was the same as before, nothing much had change. The test road was being pasted on the wall behind me, where dozen of boxes were used to stack along it. The boxes were gone which is replaced by a long bench where I'm sitting on it. The white board was still there in front of the room, chairs were place in the middle which looks like a classroom setting. In between the chairs and whiteboard, there are two office tables and chairs. On top of them were the box where the candidate place they NRIC card, PDL and the slips of test booking record.

In the past the box was there for balloting purpose. 15 minutes before the test, the tester would came in and explain to us the procedure of the test the road map and all. And they will request a person among us to start the balloting. Everything will be happen in front of us but it's different now.

The box there no long hold the purpose of balloting. Indeed all was done behind the stage. Still the candidate will place the document in the box but the tester will collect them and do the balloting in their office through system. When the candidate were attached to a tester, the tester will then come fort and pick them up for the test. Some do inform you the test road and let you mentally prepare yourselves but some don't. They came in called your name and you will need to follow them and lead them to your testing car.

I was the unlucky one who didn't get to know the test road that I'm going for and the perpetration was not done. Soon I leave the room to follow the tester, I ask,"Erm... What's my test road?" "10," answered the tester, Mr. Niam. "Don't worry, the road might change," continued Mr. Niam as if he was trying to read my mind.

When I'm in the car with the tester, My heart beat didn't slow down. The heat from my body was still there but through the driving, I felt normal till I alight the car and follow the tester to their office. On the way to the office, the test said something which I couldn't react in time. He said, "You cough, I cough, So how?" What do you expect me to answer? I gave him a weak smile and thought, "Go consult a doctor and eat medicine." Wasn't it a normal answer?

In the office, he made me sits on a chair while he leave to print out my result. While waiting, all the feverish and racing heart beat came very clear to me till I doubt people around could hear. Now I'm as soggy as a jelly fish, I had no more energy left to take the blow if I failed this time. I know it's my best drive and I had gave my best shot. If I can't pass with it I'll totally lose my self control. I think I might cried.

I look around the office half laying, half supporting the table and trying to push my body into a siting position. Then I came across a guy who sited a table beside me. He too was waiting for his result he look more confident that me and show me 3 using his finger which I think he was asking, "is it the third time I took the test?" So I nodded my head. Now come to think of it, he might mean, "Was everything okay?" But who cares, it's a nodded to both questions.

By the time I took in everything in the office, his tester came back and told him his result. He was shock and I could see that he could not believe his ears and what the tester told him. He FAILED! When I heard it, I felt that the ground was not there and I was falling into a hole with no bottom. I tried not to concentrate on his talk with the tester and start staring at the empty chair in front of me and the table where I half lay on it.

A Minute or so had passed since I've made sitting on the chair but that minute or so was like hours to me... It's feel like, mentally, I've reached my limit and, physically, all my energy was drain out, but very soon I'll be restore after I heard my result.

Then, someone push a piece of paper before my eyes and I saw a PASSED. I couldn't believe it was my result or it's a prank. I tried to grab hold of the paper to have a proper look but failed as the tester said, "let me sign it first." And only the reality strikes me. I did pass this time round. I was too happy to react and still having the confused face on (that's what I think) as the tester tapped on the wall on my left where a piece of paper was stick on with timing of the graduation video on and said while passing me my test result, "Level 1 briefing room. You know where?" I nodded and took the paper expecting him to say something about my driving.

He didn't speak as I took another glance on the paper to check my name is written on it. So I decided that he's not giving me any more advice and I take the leave. I check the paper again and again. The name, the test result and the demerit point I got. I still couldn't believe my eyes. It felt like a dream. I felt like I was floating my way down to the briefing room when I took out my mobile phone to inform my close friends and family. I called my mum and cousin. SMS some more and walk to the room. Only then I wonder am I in the right place? No one was in there and I couldn't help to start thinking that way.

I check the schedule beside the room and check my clock. It's too early. When to washroom and SMS some more. Then I decided to call my cousin where he joke that he want me to drive on the day his second brother is getting married. I decline of course. The reason I took the licence is I hate backing out half way. It's not for driving purpose. But he was joking so I'm relieved.

While waiting for the video to starts, I look through the result slips again and read what mistake I made during the test and try to recall but none was the right one... Those I remembered were not mention but those I didn't was all in the paper. Who cares for now? I had passed and there's a video session await me and the applying of my licence...

Mount Faber trail walk...

2008-08-19T23:04:00.012+08:00

It's National Day and my family and I were to set off to Harbour front interchange to start with our family walk. The First station was Harbour front Interchange and from there we were suppose to follow the trail to Mount Faber. Luck was not on outside at first though it came back to us later on.

After reaching Harbour front interchange, we set off looking for ways to reached Mount Faber and we almost got our way lost. Thanks to a helpful man, who show us the direction (he really did show us our way), we finally reached Mount Faber and officially started with the family walk. It was half past eleven when we finally started off at Mount Faber.

First check point should be Marang Trail but we miss as we walk in the wrong direction and almost get ourselves lost. We hardly reached the second check point too.

The second check point: Faber walk

I would say we miss that one as we join in the trail, we were reaching to the end of Faber walk.

The third check point: Hilltop walk

It is connected by a bridge called Henderson Waves. It's a nice bridge but the weather was too hot for me to enjoy. Below are some of the Photo I took while on the bridge.

Enjoy!

My Dad giving me such a CUTE~.~ pose...

Left >> Right
My Dad, My mom, My mom's youngest brother (my uncle) and My mom's eldest sister (my aunt)

They are trying to act like the wind is so strong... But it was not... No wind AT ALL!

This bridge is 7.4 meter above sea level

What a nice weather for a outing... And we were on a bridge connecting Faber walk and Hilltop walk.

After the bridge, we reached Hilltop walk. There, we rest and replenish our energy. After Lunch, we headed towards Forest walk. On the way there, this was what we found:

Isn't the garden beautiful? Looks like some back garden of some huge palace.

After visiting to the garden, we continue our journey and reached Forest walk. Below are some pictures I took. Hate the "bridge" below.

See it's made of metal and look it's like walking on the drain!

It's a shelter but seem like it's only for the rain but not the sun... Under it, it was as stuffy...

Reaching to the end and we are approaching Alexandra arch (another bridge that connect Forest walk and Flora walk.

Let's take a break. Don't you feel that the rain tree shape is so beautiful?

Finally we reached Alexandra arch. And at the other end awaits us is the Hort Park and the Flora walk.

Some Photo I took in the Hort Park.

My aunt laughing so bright while pointing me the red short banana.

My parent on a bench swing.

Hey! what are you looking? The focus is the dog!

So warm, shall we look for some place to rest before we continue?

Hey! There looks cooling... I'll join!

After the rest we continue and went to Canopy walk before we end our walk. The bridge of the Canopy walk look more stable to me as it is made of solid wood. Below are some picture during the walk on Canopy walk.

Dad, what are you looking at?

Wow, isn't it beautiful? What a great view dad.

Hey Hey! Our trip does not end here. It's National day after all, and we end up to some historical place which entrance fee is free due to National day...

Didn't manage to take any photo there as I'm tired of holding the camera... We stayed there for another 30 min or so. Before we left, guess what we met there. My mum's aunt! My grandaunt. Isn't Singapore a small world after all?

Yeah that's where we have end our day and we proceed down hill to the bus stop to take bus home...

blur...

2008-08-11T14:12:00.004+08:00

Since graduation, the time for posting is getting lesser and lesser... Seems like I have more and more thing I wish to do... But some how, things doesn't goes the way I wished...

I didn't manage to get in to local Uni therefore I've applied for Private but I wonder is that what I wanted? Taking up IT course is also another issue... Since it around 6 months after the graduation, I wonder am I really interested in it... It's just so complicated and I don't know what I really wants...

Now I'm working part-time but it seems like I'm working for the sake of cash... What do I really want? What I thought I would like turn out to me another confusion to me...

Wow... It's been long...

2008-07-13T23:40:00.007+08:00

My last proper Update was on 11 June 2008... And now, it's 13 July 2008... Exactly one month apart...

I wouldn't like to start with what I did in the pass month but would like to start with today's happening...

I can't remember when was my last time seeing a sunset in Singapore... But today's I'm sure that I've enjoyed myself... Also I've took some Picture... I shall describe my thought after seeing the photo I took...

My Thought: No particular Thought at the moment. Took this because the cloud is beautiful...

My Thought: The Flower look good at this angle but not at the other angle...

My Thought: Cool reflection! This photo was requested by my Mum to took it. It was like the reflection of the sun light is leading me to a new path...

My Thought: Another beautiful cloud shot...

My Thought: Took this Picture with my Camera's maximum zoom in; 15x zoom. Good background too... An small Island and a "Sunset Light"...

My Thought: It's a waste that the sun was hide by the cloud... But still I manage to took a few nice shots...

My Thought: A Photo of my family, aunt and uncles... Manage to took a nice one after I on the flash light...

My Thought: The Cloud there was so beautiful!

My Thought: Lonely is what I felt before and after I took this Picture. A tree and a "tent" or I rather say it's only a shelter... I salute you who was on guard duty there... It's wasn't an easy job...

My Thought: Before we left, some one took our place... See they are all "Bangladesh"... He he...

My Thought: With the Camera, I also manage to get a zoomed in shot of the moon... I've waited this moment for so long... Every time I spotted a nice and clear moon, the camera was not with me...

Finally, we've end our trip of watching sunset at Taus...

Some questions.... and My answer to them...

2008-06-26T12:57:00.003+08:00

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Ans: hmm... I Wouldn't know since i've not face it before.

#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
Ans: Hmm... dream never come true if your dun work hard for it. For me I'm happy as what I am...

#3. What will your dream wedding to be like?
Ans: wedding ar... seriously, i just wan a simple wedding... a wedding that I'll look beautiful...

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Ans: Who doesn't? future is so unpredictable...

#5. what's your ideal lover like?
Ans: Lover? I've no Idea... May be caring, responsible, reliable. Or you can refer to my list for my future husband.

#6. What is more blessed? Loving someone or being loved by someone?both?
Ans: Both is not being blessed... unless both of you are in love with each other...

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
Ans: seriously, I have no idea. I though love is blind? so how am i surpose to teel the time?

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Ans: bless them if they are truely in love with each other. Or else look for another better one.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Ans: depend on how you defind unhappy. does unhappy means not able to go to the loo when you need? or to the extend that you are being accuse in doing things you hadn't?

#10. Is being tagged fun?
Ans: depend who had tag you. would you like people who heat you to tag sth bad on you?

#11. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Ans: wow 10 yrs time? may be I'm not living in this world anymore... Who knows?

#12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Ans: important? again depend on how you define it... My family is important to me as well as any living creature in this world.

#13. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
Ans: A friend of mine (most probabily) how the hell would i know if he did leave his name or using a fake name?

#14. Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
Ans: not both... not intreseted to be a selfish person when I'm rich. in this world there things that are priceless but without money,we are not able to live.

#15. What's the first thing you do every morning?
Ans: Hmm... Good one!! Of course, I'll be sleeping!!!

#16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Ans: Not sure, not been in a realationship since young... May be I would not...

#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
Ans: None of them. Cause I believe a person can't be in love with both.

#18. What type of friends do you like?
Ans: Friends? People that willing to hear you out and accompany you when you need them.

#19. What type of friends do you dislike?
Ans: Dislike? If I dislike them I wouldn't consider them as my friend!

Tag by Lee Si Hui

2008-06-11T00:41:00.003+08:00

Ivan's MSN nick:

The brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things <- I am hitting my Brick Wall now

How I wish I could locate the correct Brick wall of mine... Maybe it is "how badly I want to further my studies"

But I'm not too sure how am I going about it... Seems like there are so many paths for me to choose and try but which is the best and most suitable for me?

How long more will I get to confirm that the brick wall I'm hitting is the correct ways to my bright future?

Leaving my current job soon...

2008-06-10T09:01:00.002+08:00

If not wrong, my last day will be 2nd of July. And the next day, I'm be going over to my ex-boss there to help her on the pushcart.

I do hope that I'm able to get another new job soon. A job which I would like to work as but what would I like to work as? Am I still interested in what I'm doing for poly? Am I able to cope up with the technology coming up everyday, hours, seconds? I doubt so...

I have no confidence... I'm lost... I'm broke...

Day 1 & 2 in china

2008-06-04T14:56:00.005+08:00

~~~~ On the air plane ~~~~

~~~~ At guang zhou ~~~~

Hey for more photo, please go to http://www.box.net/signup/collablink/d_15857758/3326e28dc5e0b and view.

Wish him happiness...

2008-05-24T12:52:00.003+08:00

Today went friendster... And my habit is to look at his profile... This time round there's some different in his display pic...

I though he don't like to take picture...

Who is this person beside him?

Wow... He look younger Without spec...

Haha... He is finally ready for another relationship... Hope that this is his final one and forever one...

You must be happy My dear friend!!!

I'm Back...

2008-05-19T08:16:00.003+08:00

Have been recieveing lots of greetings... And friend and family asking "how was the trip?" My answer will "Okay Okay lor..."

Actually there are happy moment and irritating moment... Let me start with the first day of the trip...

First day - Singapore to Guang Zhou

On the airplane (tiger airline) to Guang Zhou... 4hour flight... Tiring and hungry and tirsty...

At Guang Zhou, the tour guide (Li Bing) meet us and bring us to the bus... A young man which is as old as my brother... His looking was not bad but definatly is not handsome too... haha... Later will upload the Pic...

11 plus in the morning, we had already done with our lunch... Oh Ya, forget to inrtoduce who had went to the trip... In short, it is a family trip... My mother's side family... in total there are 18 of us went with my 姨丈的姐姐 and her husband... Never like going out with her them... Other than that 2 person, every thing was fun... ^_^

Okay, after lunch, we started to tour around Guang Zhou city... First day was a little pack as we went to lots of places but too bad I can't remember everything... Will be uploading the Pic I took later too... haha...

Second day - Guang Zhou

Same as first day, we still tour around Guang zhou but when compared with yeasterday's trip it was lighter... Brought quite a number of things; 2 handbag at 70元, 5 pair of socks @ 10元 and a few of 街邊小吃 and crackers... Seriously, can't really remember what I really brought and ate... Too many days pasted...

Third day - Guang Zhou to Shan Tou

After breakfast, we continue our journey to Shan Tou which took us 7 hours of bus trip... Tired when reach but the weather there was much much cooler than Guang Zhou... On the day we arrivel at Shan Tou, it is also the day that the olypmic event was held at Shan Tou... Lucky we arrive at the correct time where the even just ended if not, we will be in the traffic jam... Went to took some Pic at some field... My uncle did a stunt!!! He went to borrow the flag of china and the olypmic from a small kid around 4 to 5 years old... Helped he took a picture with the flag and our tour group started to borrow flag from others to the picture too... Ha ha... So funny yet so fun...

After the photot taking session, we went for a walk to some jetty but was found to be close for rebuild... Disappointed, we went back to the bus for our next event which is our dinner... Had our Dinner, we went for another round of shopping... This time I brought 2 pair of shoes each 25 China Yuan, one for my mum and one for me, 10 pairs of stocking socks cost 9元. So cheap lor...

Fourth day - Shan Tou to Chao Zhou

Went to my grandparend's villige to pray and had lunch... After which, our tour group spilt in to 3 teams... One of them went to another villige to pay visit to their relative and another one to another villige. So the third team, went to visit other places... I'm in the third team and we went to afew temple.

At around 6pm, we meet up the other 2 group and hearded for dinner. After dinner, we went to watch some musical fountain which I feel that it is not that nice and we call it a day...

Fifth day - Chao Zhou

Still at Chao Zhou... Went back to the village to pray and have lunch... After lunch, we continue to tour the place. Nothing much after dinner...

Sixth day - Chao Zhou to Xia Men (Fu Jian)

In the morning after breakfast, the tour guide bring us to a wholesale market... The stuff there were really cheap but most of it was dried food. Brought 2 kg of 茶树菇 and a ice cream. Had our last lunch at Chao Zhou and we headed to Xia Men... At Xia Men, our tour guide change to a young lady.

Reached Xia Men, the bus tour around the pan island road of Xia meng and to a tea shop... After which it's dinner time then we went to walk along the shop house which there is nothing to buy - it is expencive!!!

Seven Day - Xia Men to Wu Yi Shan

We only get to headed to Wu Yi Shan in the late after noon... The tour at Xian Men was boring to me... Therefore I've nothing to elaborate...

Reached Wu Yi Shan... We did not have any programme that night...

Eight day - Wu Yi Shan

This day is my favourte program of the whole 10 day trip. This is what I wanted to see/ hoping for... Trees, Mountains and water... It was so beautiful... The water was so cool and tasty... Everything there was so nice and relaxing... Will upload the picture and you will understand...

Nine day - Wu Yi Shan to Xia Men

Before returning back to Xia Men, we went to "climb" another hill... Though it was not as beautiful as yeaterday one, I still love the trip... The cool breeze and the hot sun... So Comfortable...

After lunch, we went to some villige there to try they food - mountain mushroom and tea... Brought some mushroom and we headed to another shop where it sells Jades... Didn't buy anything there as I feel that it is a con-shop...

Back to Xia Men, and after dinner, we went for another round of shopping which I did not get anything too... can't find the bag which my friends mother are looking for... I'm sorry my friend...

Ten day - Xia Men to Chuan zhou

Headed to Chuan Zhou past afternoon... Before leaving, the tour guide brought us to 3 places to buy things. First is a temple "nan Pu Tou shi", second is a shop that sells chinese medicine and lastly is a knife shop... At both shop I did not buy any thing...

At Chuan Zhou nothing much again... Visit here and there but nothing is cheap... Went shopping after dinner again but was empty handed back... Seroiusly things there aren't as cheap as Guang Zhou and Chao Zhou...

Eleven day - Chuan Zhou to Xia Men international airport to Singapore airport

Straight after breakfast, we headed to Xia Men and from Xia Men back to Singapore... Home sweet home!!! But not so fast!!! Still It's a long long day... Reached airport, checked-in and we started to go around to look for lunch but was in no hope as the food there was like a snack but not meal...

When on board, uncle brought me a cup of cup noddle and it teaste good as I'm hungry... 4 hour of flight was not that long yet not that fast... Nothing to look/see at outside the window as the weather is cloudy... Bored and the time passes so slowly...

Finally reached Singapore... Was happy yet sad and tiring... Tired that the next day I still have to work and even more tired when I get to find out I'll need to work for another 3days after my trip... So Tired!!!

Going overseas...

2008-05-07T17:20:00.002+08:00

Currently I'm not excited nor interested... I don't know why... My eyelid is twitching now and then... Wonder what will happen next... Will it be something good or bad... Hope it will be some good news... Upper left of my eyelid was twitch from 2.30 plus till now 5.23pm...

~~~~~~~~~~

Today after work, on the bus number 187, some interesting and scary things happen... Some one was sitting near the front door of the bus drop her stuff while sleeping... I was at the other far end of the bus so I doesn't really care what is happening... Only when I was alighting at the stop of mine, I get the chance to see her in a close view and at the first sight, I was wondering is she okay? Then at the second sight, is she alive? And at the third, I was searching for some movement around her chest but was failed due to the vibration of the bus...

Seriously, I doubt that she is sleeping... The position she sits, the way her eyes are closed, and the way her head was rested didn't give me a sign of alive... Maybe those who help her to pick up her stuff know that but they are like me; maybe she's sleep very deeply yet she doesn't look okay... I'm a little glad that people around her does disturb her at the same time I felt sad for her...

If she really die that way... I would want that to be... Really hope that she is asleep and will wake up and walk herself home... But in my heart I know the percentage is very very low...

After this incident, I suddenly felt that what if one day I also die in the middle of my daily work, what will my parents do, where will I be going? What happen all the stuff I've yet to complete? Is there anything I can do to prevent that from happen on me? Just wonder...

~~~~~~~~~~~

Since I'm flying off tomorrow morning and will be back only on 18th may, I would like to write something I felt for the trip... Actually I felt cheated, disappointed... Cheated in the way of the trip is programmed and disappointed in the airline and hotel we are staying... I would like to pay more for a better hotel and airline services... How I wish I'm able to board Singapore Airline again...

Another thing that I'm worried about is the security over there... Robbery, Thief, Con-man... Hate that... China never gives me a good impression though I never been there before... It's enough hearing stories from relatives there, News from the papers and TV... There "bad" news and always more that the "good" ones...

Oh Man!!! This is the first time I felt so reluctant to go overseas... I missed Japan's security and the air... I felt so safe when we are there, the place, the streets are just so clean and planted with flower pots... It was beautiful...

~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay... I think I got to go... Staying over at my aunt house before going to the airport at around 3 to 4 am later... Hope nothing will happen and I enjoy my trip there...

My Wish... My Hope...

2008-05-04T08:21:00.003+08:00

WISHES
How I wish I'm stronger so that I'm able to protect my family and friends.
How I wish I'm wiser so I'm able to act accordingly.
How I wish I'm less selfish so I'm able to care for other too.
How I wish I have a smart brain so I'm able to learn the world's knowledge.

HOPES
Hope that everyone are healthy, especially my Family and Friends.
Hope I'm able to further my studies in a desire University.
Hope I'm able to get a normal shift job soon.

@ work

2008-04-30T17:49:00.002+08:00

Realize this few time when I'm updating my blog, I was on duty. The previous entry, and the one before it were from the day and time when I'm on duty...

Don't get it wrong, my company doesn't pay me to write my blog. it is just that I'm too bored at time that I have nothing to do and I end up here.

Okay, I'm off to work...

Un-smooth week...

2008-04-27T15:21:00.004+08:00

What a week... Been sick for the whole week... At was having a little of throat problem on Saturday but after seeing the doctor and had the antibiotic, I felt worst instead of better... So I went to see Chinese doctor third day after I consult the Western doctor... This time round I felt better at least the fever had gone down... Then came the running nose on Wednesday and I decided to get an MC on Thursday...

So again I went back to consult the Western doctor but this time round I never touch his medi at all... I continue eating my Chinese medi... Still running nose and coughing hadn't gone down on Thursday so again I went to consult my Chinese physician...

Now, Sunday, not full recover yet, I'm working OT...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Weathers are bulling me this few days... Sunny, rainy and humid...

If this continue, I'm sure I'll get sick again... Now, I'm having headache... Like what I told Viory, the different type of cold and flu is visiting me one by one... First is the irritation in my throat, then fever, followed by running nose and cough, then now headarch... What will be next? When will I get recover? Just hope everything will be okay before my leaves starts...

Thanks supporter... dissapoint classmate...

2008-04-23T23:54:00.004+08:00

Was being disappoint by my classmate today... The words, the way she communicate... It hurts me...

Though I konw it's the truth but I just hope that people won't be so 现实 but I was wrong. No matter how true, how positive I treat and look towards my friends, in the end there still have some one that act so 现实. I'm really tired... Life is so tiring...

Disappeared hope...

2008-04-15T22:41:00.002+08:00

Recently, there are so many things had happen... I should say after I've graduated from RP, lots of problems are arising but not solved...

I do understand that sometime things happen is not our control and it is also beyond our strength to solve it... And I really hate this kind of situation...

Take my dad's incident, I really can't do anything to help him feel better. I was so helpless... So helpless... His report was out (hadn't touch or read it) but heard that the report was not a good news... Thought after dad's OP, I'm able to concentrate on my life but I was wrong... With the worry of his wound, now the report out come worried me too... Suddenly I feel like I've fallen down to a hole and I'm so cold and helpless in there... Cry doesn't help at all...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I think I've no hope of getting into local Uni... Heard that those who had been accepted had received their letters or ask for a interview... And me, I'm sitting down in front of my laptop blogging... I've received nothing, no news, not letter, no emails, no interview... Felt empty and sad at the current moment but was feeling better now... At least I have my heart prepared when I received a letter of rejection...

Next plan is to quit my current job and look for another better one... Hopefully a job which I really can gain hands-on experience. Staying in helpdesk I really felt helpless as every thing in there uses your mouth to communicate and once the other party did not get you or disagree with you, you will have a hard time with them... Faced twice this month and that's really put down the fire in my heart to work at helpdesk...

I wanted to get a job that has a normal shifts and rest on Sunday. Pay wise, I don't expect much as I still consider myself no EXP...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Though I started to like the environment of my work place but I still prefer RP's one... I just felt that everything there was to so familiar to me even that I've never seen it...

I miss RP, it's staff, it's environment, my class and classmates...

I simply MISS you ALL!!!!

It's a Sunday...

2008-04-13T07:59:00.004+08:00

Early Morning of a Sunday, What would do?

I believe most of us will be asleep in the comfortable bed but for me I have no luxury to do so... Especially when I have duty on Sunday morning... It's a sad thing that I'm not able to sleep till the sun is up on Sunday which I used to do so... T-T But thinking of the extra $40 for coming, I feel that it is worth it to sleep less and earn more...

When you have to work during Sundays, What would do when work?

What a question I'm asking!!! But can you believe? Most of the time I'm doing almost nothing when working during Sunday and I hate it... The time just passes so slowly and with nothing achieve at the end of the day...

Today without fail, I'm here doing nothing again but surfing the Internet... Should have brought something along to read but this morning I was in a rush and forget about it... Now with nothing to do, I'm here to do some blogging to update my readers... Haha... Though I don't know who will be reading... Hehe...

Strangely happy...

2008-04-11T22:23:00.004+08:00

Today was a strange day for me...

1st: My mood was strangely light and I did not drag my foot to work...
2nd: Dad look much better today and I'm glad he is feeling better everyday...
3rd: The email today wasn't that much and we are able to handle it...
4th: Most of the user called in, I was able to handle. Though I didn't provided the best solution but was able to help them a little.
5th: Brother bring home the new PC yesterday and today I get to play with it...
6th: New PC, New OS and New feeling...
7th: Daddy finally can remove his wound's staple... Though I didn't see the process of the removal, but was glad that the wound look much better without it...
8th: Lappy is ready for collection and went to collect it on time... Now I'm using my lappy...

What a day for me to feel happy and light... Wonder how will I feel when tomorrow starts... Hope the feeling of today will last as long as possible...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm trying my best to be a good daughter but I'm afraid that my strength is limited... Wanted to let daddy have a comfortable and clean house to stay in but all I could do is to wash the pots and bowls being use for the day... How useless am I... Feel like staying at home to look after him but I believe he won't allowed...

Though I know my family finance isn't as good as before but I wasn't that poor yet... In order to maintain the current situation, all I could do is spend less on my parents and the only way is to work and earn my living...

Another problem I notice recently is the transport is getting higher and higher... In a week of 4 working day, I may use up to 30 - 40 dollar on transport... And the problem is that I didn't go other places other than work place and home... I'm actually spending so much on it!!! Wonder Why and how to keep it low...

I think there will be more and more problem coming out... I'll just wait and see what are they...

Daddy at home...

2008-04-09T21:32:00.002+08:00

Discharged from hospital...

Dad has been discharge since Monday night...

My brother friends are coming to my house every night to help my dad to clean his wound...

Till now I still don't dare to look at his wound... I was afraid to look at the way the wound was being stitch...

Just hope that he will recover faster and hope he feel less pain... Gain some weight, able to eat more and don't move around too much... Please let him rest and don't bother about house chores...

Please rest and recover...

Hospital... He look weak...

2008-04-02T00:00:00.001+08:00

Dad is in hospital now...

I don't know how to describe my feeling now...

Was sad when I first see him... He look so week and pale... There's so many tube around him and I don't know what I can do for him... He look so painful but he is trying not to show... I wanted to cry but in that environment I can't... I wouldn't want my mum to break down too... And I know dad definitely didn't want us to worry about him... So I just hold back telling myself when I reach home and I'm along I can cry all out BUT not now...

Was able to hold up till now... And I don't know why... Maybe things around me was moving my concentration away from my dad... Really hope all the tube can be removed as soon as possible...

He was asking us to leave for don't know what reason... Maybe he knows how I felt and how I tried to hide... When I'm beside the bed, I was trying not to look at him for too long... I was afraid that the more I look at him the more I will lost control of my feeling... The other reason might be of the late timing and my brother and his friends hadn't had their dinner...

So we left the hospital at around 10pm and mum and I went home straight whereas my brother and his friend went for their dinner...

Now at home blogging and thinking back...

For this year (after Chinese new), there are so many things had happen...

The cold war between my mum and me, the new of my dad's health, the work, the leave I'm going to take and now the op of my dad...

I'm so tired... I want a good rest... I want a smooth life... But all I got is challenges to be faced everyday...

GRADUATION CEREMONY Part 2

2008-03-28T16:32:00.015+08:00

---- Continued----

Waiting for the photo?

Yes I'm here to upload them...

Wei Ling - A loud and crazy person but...

Ming Hong - a fun and interesting person but...

Jackson - A joker and crappy person but...

Soo Khee (SuQi) - A quite and sport loving guy but...

Marcus - A huge and knowledgable person but...

Wee Tong - A interesting and knowledgable person but...

Isuru, Neminda, Upul - all of them are friendly and helpful but...

PSP - A Mr. Nice person and cute but...

Michelle - A smart and clever person but...
Hui Juan - A tiny and hardworking person but...

Irene - A cool and responsible person but...

Chan - A confident and blur person but...

KenChi aka Kong Weng - A fun loving and fast learning person but...

JOY - A Joyful and cheerful person but...
Lynn - A tall and responsible person but...
Zee - A Cute and friendly person but...

Ming Hai - A mystrious and interseting person but...

Pei Yun - A very quite and shy person but...

Viory - A Kind-hearted and shy person but...

BUT...

BUT WE ALL HAD GRADUATED!!!

Might not be able to meet them in school but I'm sure some day we will meet again... In what way I wouldn't know... See you till then... MY DEAR FRIENDS!!!

Some photo taken with Facilitator and TSO I've met for the past 1 year...

Wong Hau Shian - My mentor from my 2nd year onwards, taugh me wireless LAN and security...

Razali - The most friendly TSO I've met in RP... May we keep in touch...

Suppose to have a photo with IVAN but he was back home for a rest... So I'll have his photo from RP site being place here... Wahahaha...

So this is Ivan Wee... Who had taught me IP convergence and a few lesson of Internetworking...

I just find it so funny to have his photo this way... hahahaha!!!

GRADUATION CEREMONY!!!

2008-03-27T01:24:00.003+08:00

HUH!!!

OKAY!!!

LONG SPEECH!!!

PRESENTING transcripts

END/ RECEPTION!!!

PHOTO TAKING!!!

FINALLY I'VE GRADUATED!!!

It's a long long day for me for the past 2 days... Woke up as early as 6 or 7 am and was only get on to bed by 2am... What the hell am I doing? Hope it was only for this few days... Please let me have my life be normal soon...

It's late now... To be continue once I've time... haha... Wait for the photos...
--27032008 1:34AM

2008-03-21T12:50:00.002+08:00

Suddenly this song came to my mind...

I love you.
You love me.
We are happy family,
With a great big hug and a kiss me to you,
born to say you love me too.

Sound familiar? He he...

Those who watch Barny the purple dinosaur will know...

It's the ending song of every episode...

There is another version of it...

But too bad... I could remember how lyrics goes... All I remember is that the first (upper one I Wrote) one, is about family and the other (which I forget) one is for friendships... Actually I like both of the song as the meaning was quite rich.

When we grow up lesser and lesser people will like this song... They might even find it childish...

Finally Finish Coating my Small Little Gift...

2008-03-21T00:58:00.008+08:00

Finally... After 3 days of hard work, the final job was done... Now my gifts are ready to be given out...

Remember the post about my second day of work? Yes, the gift I'm preparing is being mention there... Ambigram key chain... Brought 5 of them and it been posted to me by Tuesday... It took me around 2 and half days to coat the key chain with nail polish (transparent). With that it have a better finishing look... Shiny shiny compared to those have not been coated...

Below are the Pictures of the key chain... See whether you can guess who is it for...

For answer, please see the words below each Picture.

~~Peizhi~~

~~Janet/Si Hui~~

~~Weiling~~

This last one is quite obvious le... haha... So won't tell now...

Actually there are one more key chain but I've had passed to Viory just now when I met her for a dinner... Was glad the I'm able to meet her up... Hopefully next week Thursday we are able to go for a K session... Hope that all of us are free and we are able to enjoy to the fullest...

Okay, eyes shutting down soon... So I'll stop here... And it is Ivan... haha...

Second week of work...

2008-03-19T20:58:00.002+08:00

My first time picking up a call in work place...

Cool?!

Not at all!! It was scary!! User speak too fast, I couldn't concentrate on what she is speaking!!

She scare the hell out of me!!! Subsequently, the phone rang though I did tried to pick up the calls but most of it I end up asking them to send me a e-mail if not get my colleges to pick it up. I'm such a failure.

Today was fortunate as there are 3 people scheduled for work but as for tomorrow onwards, I'll be with my partner which mean there will be only 2 people... How am I going to survive? Just pray that people don't call in that much and if they called, hope that they don't speaks too fast... Just the speed that I could digest the information...

Hope tomorrow will be a better day...

Not to be lazy... No more excuses please...

2008-03-16T23:22:00.012+08:00

Being lazing for the past few days... And now decided not to avoid it after reading Zee's blog... It's really great that we did surprise you...

~~~~~~~~~~~Chalet 10 and 11 march~~~~~~~~~~~~

Firstly...

Need to apologize to Zee for making you so unhappy due to the last minute changes because of the stupid weather...

Initial plan: Lynn, Joy, Kenchi and Ming Hai will walk in to the chalet with the cake lighted and singing of Birthday song...

But the weather was not cooperating so last minute psp decided to lure you out of the room so that we are able to come in to do the preparation...

So went PSP was persuading you to accompany him, I went out to fetch the four of them afraid that you all will meet on the way in and out... When seeing zee and psp walking out of the resort and towards our direction, I sense something is wrong if we continue to hide/stay at the area... So very quickly, I ask them to move away to another direction hoping that Zee did not notice... Phew... She really didn't notice us...

Back in room we prepare and waited for them to be back and who knows both of them did not bring their handphone along... -_-" So no choice Ling and me went to scout... After seeing both Zee and psp we faster run back to the room and inform the others...

Lighted the candles off the light by removing the card from the slot... No electricity... Waiting in the dark for Zee and psp to walk in but was in no hope... So I've knock on to the glass door to hint... Knock twice before the door is open and there goes the Birthday songs to the shock/surprised gal...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZEE!!!

Cutting the solid cake...

These are all made by Weiling!!! Looks beautiful...

After the celebration and the guest have left, we starts to play mahjong while waiting for Wee Tong to come... Wee Tong took over my place while me and ling were taking turn playing psp games... Time passes and we went to have our early early breakfast @ 4am in MAC... Went back to the room and continue the game of Mahjong...

First round, Ming Hong won $9 plus but he claim that it's me that wins... Therefore he gave me all the won money... And second round I did really win... or I should say I win by 10cent... Ha ha...

Here are some of the photo we took at the chalet (actually there are more but can't load every things up here):

Group photo of who came...

Another informal one...

Wee Tong waiting to Hu but was in no hope... He lost in both of the round...

MAC time!!! Dip Dig Dip...

Chatting while waiting for me to finish... Sorry wor people I ate very slowly de... Plus I no appetite that day...

Like I said, aftet this early breakfast, we went back and continue our game and Weiling fell a sleep and me catching some nap... After the nap, I took over Ming Hong place and play for him while he rested...

Over all it's a fun and happening day...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bad was here~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brother told me about Dad's check on Monday and was found to be cancerous... At that point of time, I could not digest the piece of information and then I went to sign my appointment contract with the agency... Had regretted since my second day of work... When reached home got the chance to ask my dad personally and he act as if there no big deal... Still I wasn't able to take in that piece of information and act as if there's nothing had happen...

Only till Friday night, the information had finally digested and at that point of time rejected the chalet appointment with Zee and guys... I'm so sorry people... Also since then I had Cry every night when I laid on my bed with my small pillow covering my face... Felt so helpless and all I could do is to cry...

我真不孝!

Sick...

2008-03-16T13:35:00.002+08:00

I'm sick of unpredictable life!!! But I can do nothing to it...

I'm trying look at things in a positive way but people around me won't allowed...

At work or at home it's all the same...

Truth of the society?

I know...

But I wanted to avoid it...

Now after entering the society, everywhere is the truth and is unavoidable at all...

Hey Gal!!!

Face the truth and learn from it...

You will soon master it and able to avoid it...

Tired... Tired of the feeling of mine...

2008-03-14T20:59:00.002+08:00

Why am I looking forward to some thing that will disappoint me?

Why am I thinking of someone to find out that he is not?

Why am I worrying about someone when I don't know how to show?

Why can't I be more patient so that the quarrel can be avoided?

Why do I always act before thinking of the consequences?

There are so many WHY in my mind and there's no answer to it... All I could do is to be extra careful...

Third day of work...

2008-03-14T16:57:00.002+08:00

It's a training actually... But really nothing much... After 2 days of observing their operation, I'm still feel that RP is the best... No matter how poor the helpdesk service are I still feel that RP's helpdesk is the best... Shouldn't had miss the talk around 2 months ago... Should bare with it till I get into an University...

After 3 days of work, I know that Helpdesk is not what I wanted to stay in for too long... It's not what I wanted from the start nor the end... I want something more!!!

Perhaps a position of network engineer or field engineer or some jobs that allowed me to contact with routers... And I would like to have a job that can move around!!!

Second day of work...

2008-03-13T18:08:00.002+08:00

Nearly fall a sleep after I've reach NTU... Too tired and nothing to do... Was just plainly waiting... Lucky some of the senior volunteer to show me how to unload the tapes... After that I tag along and see how they reply the emails...

Think today was a relax day as there are not much call and emails to answer and reply... Then in the afternoon, someone called Ang bring me to do the tape loading... As today is a Thursday, there are special tape to be loaded... After loading the tape there's nothing much for me to do so basically I'm siting there to let the time pass...

Finally knock off... Went to a auntie stall who are sell cray made keys chain with design known as "ambigram". Brought 4 in a breath as she say it her last day at NTU... I added another one before I broad the bus... When to get dinned and a hair spray when I reached BPP...

Reached home and realize I've nothing much to do too... So end up blogging... Tomorrow will be going do to have a training at HP HQ... Wonder what will it be like...

First day of work...

2008-03-12T19:32:00.003+08:00

Hmm... First Day it's kinda boring... Though I do feel that I'm alive when doing the tape changing but it's totally boring for the first half of the day... Was doing manual reading... I was late for today due to my mis-calculation of the travel time... Suppose to reach NTU by 8.30am and I was 15min late... Lucky no one had said a thing... Phew...

Tomorrow will be my problem... Reporting time 7am... Gonna leave home by 5.45am the latest... No matter what I'll hang on till my last bit of energy is used up...

Training over at HP on Friday... It's a one to one training... Wonder what will it be like... Just hope that the one who are training me don't lost his temper...

Looking forward to tomorrow?

A day full of uneasy feeling...

2008-03-11T21:02:00.003+08:00

Back from chalet but strange... I didn't have the feeling to go home... In fact I feel like going else where like visiting my Ah Yi but she was overseas... So have no choice but to drag my feet home...

On the way home ate fried sweet potato and lost my appetite after finishing it... Brother was frying onion omelet and I ate 2 mouth full of it and went to catch some sleep... Was unable to do so due to a call from the agency for a follow up of my job interview... Got a job which starts tomorrow and was ask to go down to their agency to sign the appointment contract...

After reading and signing it, they also told me to come for a orientation on 25th March @ 9.30am... When I saw the date they arranged for me, I was like OMG next day is Graduation Ceremony and what should I do? Now all I can hope is that on that week, NTU side have arranged a afternoon shift for me... So I could save up my leaves...

Just wonder will I get into any of the University I've applied...

Before I left house to the office today, my brother told me about my dad's health... Was shock with the news but I didn't show much concern... After I've came home, I went to ask my dad personally and suddenly, I feel like filling my eyes with tears... But I could do so in front of him...

I'm worried for him, for his health, for his life... I want him to recover and wished that it is a mistake... Hope the op will cure him, remove the cancerous cells and make him live longer... Though it's not that serious yet but I'm just worried...

He's my dad after all...

Chalet... Cum gathering... Cum...

2008-03-09T23:54:00.002+08:00

Looking forward? I don't know... but it seem that the feeling is long gone... Just feel that it won't be that fun anymore... Since most of them had start working... People are coming after work which I think they will be very tired to really enjoy themselves ba... Just hope that everyone come and enjoy to the fullest as they can...

Tomorrow plan...

Afternoon meeting ling and pz at pasir ris mrt at 1pm to get out food and BBQ stuff... Then check in and probably going to play game or so... Then when time arriving, we'll get prepared for the BBQ and wait for ppl to join us... I think this time round the BBQ will starts late since most of them are coming over after work...

Since the next day most of them are going work, I think we won't stay up too late again... Haiz... So far, all the chalet I went all never stay up late before de... haha... This time round I wanna see sun raise!!! It's for sure... Wait for my photo okay?